Neighbors || Jearmin

A deep chat

(A/N) - WARNING

This chapter talks about suicide. It's not made to hurt feelings, so I'm sorry if it does. 

To anyone reading this, talk to your family or friends about your struggles. Don't let it corrupt you because when it takes the best of you it's really hard to see the way out of the dark. 

Take care, little homies. And, quoting one of my inspirations [Jeydon Wale] Stay strong, stay beautiful, stay you.

°°°

Jean had already been working in the restaurant for six months before moving to his new apartment. People there were nice and friendly, and you could say it was like a playground when there were no clients. He met Connie and Sasha there and they were quite close despite the age gap and their different personalities.

But it wasn't enough for him to feel motivated. Serving food to customers wasn't exactly his dream in life, but it paid the bills. And now, the company where he applied for a job wanted him to send some of his work. He expected that and prepared some things beforehand, but Jean didn't expect the part where they wanted lyrics. Creating melodies or a full song wasn't too hard for him, music was streaming in his head 24/7, but lyrics were something different. Expressing his thoughts using words never ended well, mostly with groans and swearing, paper around the room and Jean in a really bad mood. He did have a couple of songs written but none of them were even close to be called 'good'. Unless that was what Yimir told him, and since she was quite good with writing Jean believed her immediately.

The deadline was close and he still had nothing done beside the demos of two songs he composed and an old song he produced for the band he was in. Two years later and Jean was still really proud of that song. It was frustrating to deal with all that while keep working every evening and having no one to ask for advice. His mother was waiting for him to accept the job at the family business, a bakery. But cooking or serving for him were both far from his dreams, and Jean didn't want to give his mother a chance to lower his confidence even more than it was. And Yimir made it clear that she wouldn't help him write anything, that he had to "earn it himself". Jean was frustrated and also out of ideas.

Performing in the restaurant that evening helped him breath again. He didn't mind about the money the manager promised him. Jean missed performing, and seeing how much the customers enjoyed that half an hour increased his self esteem considerably. The applause and cheers charged the battery of his motivation making the last note of his guitar the beginning of an unstoppable proud giggle. His friends were there like in the old days, people were commenting nice things and then Armin appeared widely smiling and waving to at him.

"You came!" he didn't think the boy would actually go. He hoped so, though.

"Yeah. You are amazing! Really, that first song..." He seemed as nervous as always, but his smile didn't fade and his eyes were shining bright. Just then he realized the slight difference between how the nice comments from strangers and Armin's opinion felt. Yeah, when someone you know say something good about you feels better that when a stranger does. But it was that look in his eyes that had a special power over him.

"Thank you." Jean finally reacted when he notice how uncomfortable Armin was, so he introduced him to the rest. Not a good idea, and shortly after he dragged Armin away dedicating them a death look. I'll kill them later.

"Sorry, they're actually stupid." He tried to act normal or annoyed, but he was extremely nervous instead like he was caught doing something bad.

"So you've been talking about me?" Shit. Those blabbermouths... The good thing was Armin didn't seem mad about it. He was smiling and lightly blushed. Cute.