Neighbors || Jearmin

Little steps in the right direction

Armin shook his head, whining out loud and collapsing backwards on his bed. He proceeded to whine some more, not caring about being too loud because there was no one who could hear him that Armin really cared about.

"Why's this so difficult?" He closed his eyes, defeated, and tossed his phone away somewhere on the bed, frustrated at his struggle with words.

After a month of practically living with Jean, texting him should have been the easiest thing for him. If he managed to maintain a conversation face to face, when he didn't have much to share, why couldn't he talk about his day and explain Jean his frustrations with classes? The older was quite casual about it, but Armin felt too strange and out of place.

Maybe because he really wanted to see him again, and texting was simply not enough. Also, Armin hated the not agreed but very obvious restrictions in the subjects they could bring up. One of them was that turbulent night, the other was the unspoken agreement to give themselves some time, and the last one was the exclusivity of their not-yet-existent relationship. But, even so, he wasn't quite ready to touch those subjects, his mind still too messed up and confused to know what exactly to do about all that.

It was good they could still talk normally, though, and Armin was glad about it. Jean still tried his best to update him about his life there, about what he was working on or how strange his schedules became, but also let Armin complain about all the project he already needed to get done for school, or the silence of his apartment, the effect of the stress on his body... All over texts or short calls day after day for over two weeks without being able to meet again.

Armin was waiting for Jean to set a date, do as he said and take care of their meetings. But Jean didn't say a thing, Armin understanding that as a time off to think, to make up his mind and do something about the pit of confusion he was drowning in. The blonde boy tried to be rational, understanding and patient, but behind all the excuses he used to convince himself there was this fear he didn't want to admit, but he couldn't deny it, either. Armin was afraid that, in the end, Jean wouldn't choose him.

His history with Marco went back to high school, many years in the past filled with so many memories it was impossible for Armin to compete with that. Less than two months where serious things only happened in the last few days. It's too little to have the confidence Armin needed, but enough to want to fight for it.

However, with Jean reluctant to meet up and have a serious talk about it all, Armin couldn't do more than overthink things and get frustrated over little details. Like that text he didn't know how to type, too worried about sounding uninterested or extremely excited. It wasn't like him to be so unnatural, but Armin didn't want to mess up (again).

<You underestimate yourself and your talent too much for my liking.

>You have too much faith in me.

<Or are you being like this just to get some compliments to feed your ego?

> ... Or not.
Why's your image of me so dark?
I thought you would soften down now that you miss me that much, but guess I was wrong

<Don't try and change topics. What you've sent me sounds awesome so far so give yourself the credit you deserve.
And are you avoiding meeting up to force me to miss you?
That's so low, even for you

>Everything I say will be used against me
Warn me so I'll be more careful
Jeez you're cruel

>Jokes aside
You know it's not like that, right?
I'm not avoiding you Armin