I.2 Beyond the Abyss

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The four companions turned away quickly and left the unfriendly Door behind. But after a few steps, they realised they stood out in the open and on the rim of a vast canyon. Well, Butterfly didn't stand, of course, instead it fluttered a few feet above the abyss.

Steep, wind- and water-sculpted cliffs of multicoloured rock fell away to a mist-filled valley far below them. Cat curiously advanced to the rim, but Time called him back.

"Haven't you heard the metaphor about Cat and Curiosity?"

Cat frowned. He had never heard of Curiosity.*

They all gazed out over the valley before them.

"What now?" asked Time.

"Do you think there's cat food down there?" asked Cat.

Butterfly said nothing and alighted on Time's head.

"Look yonder," said Destiny, enjoying the apocalyptic sound of the word.

"Who's Yonder?" asked Cat. "Do they have food?"

"Yonder's over there," replied Destiny, raising her arm to point to the other side of the valley.

On the other side of the valley, on a cliff similar to theirs, a metallic object was gleaming in the sunlight. Its squat form had a distinctly morose quality.

"It's a spaceship." Time had spent a lot of... time studying technology. His nerd's grin displayed two rows of pointed teeth.

"And how, pray, do we get there." Cat had a premonition that he wouldn't like the answer to that question.

"We walk."

Cat arched his back in furry irritation. "Shouldn't we have some steeds? We're the Metaphors of the apocalypse after all."

"That spaceship's our steed," replied Destiny.

——
* For details, see "Curiosity Killed the Cat" by @LiberGoat888

~~~~

The descent to the valley floor was arduous for all but Butterfly—its slightly greasy perch was comfortably sticky. At the valley's floor, they entered a forest, welcoming the shelter from the parching rays of the sun. The further they advanced, the denser the trees stood. Cool shade turned into menacing gloom.

"Is it just me, or is this forest thing brooding?" Cat was tired of walking and in no mood for an adventure.

"Halt, strangers!" The voice was a dark rumble.

The apocalyptians stopped, ogling the shadows for the source of the words.
"State your name and business," the voice said.

"We're Time, Butterfly, Cat, and Destiny, and we're about to do some apocalypsing." Destiny took a step forward, approaching a particularly gloomy space between a stand of old oaks. "Who are you?"

"I'm the mighty Magamoo." The archaic power of the name made its oo echo from the cliffs of the valley.

A rustle in the shadows made our friends turn their heads in fright and behold the creature. It had a roundish head, a wide maw, bulging eyes, a rounded back, muscled legs, and brownish, warty skin. Its hunched shoulders easily stood a hand's width above ground level.

"Er... you're a toad," Time said.

"So what?" Magamoo's voice had lost some of its volume and sounded irritated.

"Come on, friends, the apocalypse doesn't wait." Destiny resumed their hike, her second stride bringing her foot down on Magamoo. The creature exploded with a wet sound.

"Ugh!" said Time.

Cat sniffed the goo in Destiny's wake, hissed, and followed its companions.

~~~~

They were exhausted when they reached the top of the cliff on the valley's other side. The spaceship was a mere hundred paces away from them.

Time rubbed his hands. "Hey, beauty, here we come."

"Do you think there's a fridge with cat food in there?"

Spaceship, having been forgotten in this place by its owner millennia ago, was in a distinctly bad mood.

As Destiny stepped up to Spaceship, it skipped visibly back a few feet. Destiny frowned and moved closer, but with a tiny thrust of its auxiliary manoeuvring rockets, Spaceship hopped further away.

Destiny stopped. "What's your problem?"

Spaceship blinked a bright external floodlight at the four apocalyptians. With a metallic voice rusty of boredom, it gave Destiny a piece of its electronic mind.

"Well, first I get left behind by some pot smoking space hippies forgetting they arrived by starship who consequently left by slugback.* And now, after millennia of sitting alone on the windswept edge of a cliff on the most boring planet in the universe, a motley group of bad smelling clowns climbs out of the abyss and asks what my problem is. I'll tell you about my problem. You are my problem, and especially the stinking toad-goo your boot is covered with. I hope you don't dream of getting aboard a nice, clean, self-respecting spaceship like myself with such a mess on your feet."

Cat inspected the boot in question and wrinkled its nose. Time rubbed its bald patch while Butterfly fluttered up and out of danger in the last instant, the inevitable accompanying thunder roll shaking Spaceship on its supports.

"Um, Destiny," Time said, "you might want to get rid of the mighty Magamoo's curse before we get infected by toadpoison measles."

Before Cat could ask if this even was an acknowledged disease, a large portion of the canyon's rim broke off and tumbled down into the depths.

Destiny threw Butterfly an accusing glance. But this only caused the tiny insect to beat its wings more frantically, setting off a new series of rockslides.

Spaceship grew visibly nervous as cracks formed in the rock-shelf it stood on.

–––
* Travel by slugback is an official means of transportation on Proxima b, as numerous sources** confirm
** See e.g. "Basic Rule" in "#SciFriday" by @jinnis or "Milking the Wimots" in "Feeting Thoughts" by @RainerSalt

~~~~

"Listen," Time hissed from the corner of his mouth. "Butterfly, you sit still now. Destiny, wipe that boot of yours. And Cat, play dead."

Butterfly settled on Time's head. The storms abated, but the tremors in the ground didn't.

Destiny found some grass to wipe her boot. Grass was disgusted and offended but lacked the means to express its displeasure.

Cat hissed. "Can't play dead. I'm the superposition of a living cat's and a dead cat's wave functions and will remain so until—"

"Shut up. You can't resist time."

Acknowledging that Time had a point there, cat shrugged and keeled over, displaying its furred underbelly, where its hair was as soft as... a cat's belly. To add to the effect, it curled its paws as if in painful agony, offered its throat to the heavens above, and set up that glassy, panicky stare cats are so proficient in.

"Spaceship!" Time waved his hands at the vessel, which was still hopping nervously from one fin to the other. "We have an emergency here. Cat's having a seizure."

Spaceship zoomed its camera in on the feline fur ball of misery. It had spent the last millennia watching funny cat videos on TheirTube and felt strongly for kittens and their ilk. "Okay... You can come in if you behave. Medbay is on the second floor, to the left, right beside the knitting room."

A ramp slid down the ship's side, and a door opened, giving access to a dark hallway.
The apocalyptians hesitated.

"Don't be afraid," Time said. "Time's on your side."

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