Tales Between the Lines

VI. The Rise of the Titanians

This one was started by @DebraMorley, who—unaware of the severe consequences to her notification queue and sleep management in the mid term future—coaxed two notorious authors into writing another endless story of... um... whatever this here should be called correctly.

The comments began with an exchange about the literary merits of the present book, then they quickly turned to other matters, namely to an archaeologist in the far future who will erase the contents of a historical iPad and fill it with pics of nudes in a field of hemp to prove his theory that the 21st century was all about sex, drugs, and tweets.
Which isn't that far off, but let's keep politics out of this.

Said archaeologist will become famous for his work and earn a nobelissimus prize for his enlightening historical treatises.

But one night, a cleaning woman with migrational background will sneak the iPad out of its high-security showcase in the museum of ancient history and, with the help of her five-year-old son, restore its memory.

In contrast to the cheating archaeologist, said five-year old won't fiddle with the tablet's contents,* and he'll upload them to SolNet for everyone in the solar system to read.
And everyone will.**

The results won't be what the five-year-old and his mum will have expected.

———
* Well, he'll add that tiny fake article to the tablet's docs, the one about the beneficial effects of sweets on the cognitive development of elementary school kids. But that just will prove that the sweets his mom'll have given him will have been worth it.

** Some backwater—or back-ice—blokes on Titan won't be able to read, so they'll look at the pics instead. They'll especially enjoy the ones of the nudes smoking e-cigarettes (as you remember, the unhealthy ones of the nudes in the field of hemp will be fake, and the five-year-old will have retrieved the originals).

Before you proceed, one warning. This is SciFi, telling you of things to come. Thusly, these are things that take place in the future. Hence, and since the authors take the "Science" in SciFi seriously, the story will be told in Future tense.

Surprisingly, many SciFi authors ignore the obvious necessity of writing in this tense, and readers are therefore not used to it. To make sure you get it, here's a short intro.

Events that take place at the moment of the narrative will be told in simple future tense:

The glimmering spaceship will land in Times Square. Its hatch will open, and a thin-legged, silver-skinned creature carrying a rod-like contraption will strut down its ramp.

Events that take longer will be in future continuous:

The earthlings will be watching the spectacle with their mouths open.

Events that will have taken place before the moment of the narrative will be in future perfect:

During its many-year journey to earth, the alien will have watched all sitcoms broadcast by our planet since the invention of TV. Hence, it will have suffered greatly, and it will be in a bad mood.

Things that will be done to other things may be reported in simple future passive:

The alien's disintegrator gun will be charged. It will be pointed at the humans, and its trigger will be pulled.

Some things won't need any tense at all:

Splat!

And now you're ready for your first true tale of the future.