I.4 A Visitor

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A couple of hours later, everyone had their appetites stilled, and they met in the knitting room. Destiny was... knitting.

"Boring, boring, boring," said Cat, listlessly pawing a ball of thread connected to Destiny's work. "Are we there yet?"

"Good question." Time nodded. "Spaceship, when will we arrive at the Center of the Universe?"

"Estimated time to arrival is 38361 years."

"What?" Time turned towards the speaker in the ceiling, unsettling Butterfly in the process.

Butterfly batted its wings to regain its perch. Only a few light years away, the peaceful planet of Trumpia, where everyone had orange hair and lived in a walled garden, experienced a worldwide thunderstorm. The resulting hairy winter, caused by orange toupees crowding the stratosphere, killed off all inhabitants. The last two Trumpians stared at a landscape looking like hell freezing over. "We were right, global warming is utter gobbledygook," said one of them. "We should have burned more coal, not less." Then, a polar bear ate them both.

"38361 years," Spaceship confirmed.

"Fine. We have Time, and I love knitting." Destiny kept her gaze on her needlework.

"No, please." Cat walked over to Destiny and looked at her with huge, irresistible cat eyes. "This would kill me with utter boredom."

"Okay." With a sigh, Destiny placed her work on the table beside her. "Time, please stand still until we're there."

Time stood still.

~~~~

In infinitely less than a blink of an eye, they arrived at the centre of the universe. Time started moving again. Cat looked around irritated.

"What's up? Where are we?"

"At the centre of the universe," Spaceship said in awe. "Wow, Dad, this is way cool. How did you do it?"

Time just shrugged. He had no intention to talk about his secrets. Besides, selective temporal perception was a topic he preferred not to discuss with Spaceships. On the other hand, he realised Destiny had somehow finished knitting her shawl during their time-out. Time had always suspected Destiny liked to cheat. But then, so did he. Maybe they should pair up more often.

In the meantime, Cat and Butterfly looked out of a porthole.

"Are we really in the centre of the universe? I can't see anything, not a single star or comet or asteroid" complained Cat. "Actually, it's as black out there as it was in my box."

Spaceship didn't like to be doubted.

"I brought you to the exact point Daddy asked for. See here... Oops, I think some of my navigational parameters got mixed up... These coordinates are calculated in the old Terran system. This means we are..."

Spaceship trailed off, lost in calculation. Destiny and Time exchanged desperate glances. But before one of them could complain about the fragmentary memory of their steed resembling a Swiss cheese—Emmentaler, to be precise—a rumbling shook the ship.

Cat accusingly looked at Butterfly, but the tiny insect sat with folded wings on the rim of the porthole. Spaceship shook again. Suddenly it started to giggle. "Please stop, not my belly. I'm ticklish between my ventral fins! Ugh, don't do that... it's indecent." Spaceship shuddered. "Someone or something has forced their way into my aft airlock..."

Destiny looked at Time, arching one eyebrow.

"Hey... they're recycling the airlock now... and... the lock's inner door is being opened."
Time motioned at the scarf. "Isn't that a Snarklian strangler scarf?"

"Nope." Destiny shook her head. She held the knitwear up. "But it has pretty little hearts in it." The hearts were yellow, on a dark-blue background.

They heard a clanking noise from Spaceship's aft section.

"Er..." Time searched the room. His eyes fell on Cat. "Cat, aren't the members of your species wild and ferocious fighters?"

"Sure. Give me a bird, or a mouse, and I'll give you mincemeat." His paw, extended claws, sliced a tiny cube of airspace in front of his face.

"What about unknown creatures lurking in dark nooks of the universe? Can you mince them, too?"

"I don't do unknown creatures..." Cat, its eyes on the door, took a step back. "You know, I've read it up, curiosity tends to kill cats, so I'm rather conservative when it comes to prey."

Heavy footfalls rang on the metal rungs of the main stairs.

"Spaceship?"

"Yes, Daddy?"

"Please deploy your internal defences."

"What internal defences?"

"Those designed to strike, slice, hit, maul, pierce, and kill intruders."

"I don't have any of these. I'm a peaceful ship. But I could prepare dinner for our guest."

The footfalls reached their level and advanced through the hallway. They had a decidedly malevolent ring to them.

Cat crouched behind Destiny. Butterfly flattened its wings against Time's scalp. Destiny stepped behind Time. Time took a step back, nearly toppling the posse.

They all stared at the doorway of the knitting room.

Sounds of heavy breathing reached their ears.

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