The Noble Desire (Peterick)

.•°Twenty-One.•°

How could one feel so alive one moment and nearly dead the next? To be cross in love was not what Patrick had planned for himself, nor did he think the prince had either. Pete had watched him, from the hallway, pack his things into his suitcases but didn't attempt to have him go against the decision that had been made once they'd returned to the palace. Though, the air between them was soaked in dolor. They didn't speak, barely looked each other in the eye, and when it was all over with and Patrick was to set off they could only trade each other a remorseful regard, which patently marked the termination of their liaison.

He'd known the prince to be observing him on his walk towards the palace gates; a tiny part of him wanted for Pete to come running after him and beg for him to stay. Maybe a tiny part of Patrick would have changed his mind. His stomach flopped when he did hear the sound of shoes sprinting down the pathway behind him, and he quickly turned on his heel to see the prince waving a piece of paper in the air. Out of breath once he caught up to him, Pete presented him with a check, his last check for the job. Disappointment settled in.

"I-uh- I forgot to give this to you," he told him.
The blond accepted the payment, and they both stood there, staring at each other as if they weren't yet ready to let go.
"Listen, Patrick..."
"Yes?" the other said rather too eagerly.

Pete's hand scratched behind his neck, and his lips quivered slightly.

"I'm sorry. I really am."

The apology flew right past Patrick because the truth was that he didn't exactly know what it was for, but he didn't try to decipher the meaning. Whatever it was directed towards didn't matter now. It was a mutual decision that neither could work their way around.

"Yeah. Just be careful. I won't be there to stop a bullet."
Pete laughed, releasing the apprehension in his posture and emotions within those few seconds. With that, Patrick knew he was ready, so he walked away and placed his belongings into Joe's car waiting for him on the street corner. Regardless of whether or not the world had been set right for them, their love would stick with him. It wasn't the laughing and smiles that would remain, though they were pleasant.

When he was to revisit the memories he knew the painful ones underlining the good times would change his reality the most. The problem with the pain that would come was that it would take time to form, to build upon itself and become realized. You don't just break your heart and learn your lesson. Heartbreak itself doesn't live in a single moment; hearts have the ability to chip and break apart almost infinitely. What good would come from all this unpleasantry was the opportunity he would have to learn more about himself each passing day. He could construct the person he wanted to be.

There were things he needed to work on, improve on before he could manage a loving and committed relationship. Though, he hadn't come out of theirs unscathed. Pete most likely would never entirely leave his mind. The relationship they once had made him a better version of himself. They loved, they laughed, they changed each other's lives. Patrick didn't want to ever forget, and he didn't think he would anytime soon. Joe inquired why he'd wanted to be picked up, but the blond was too much in a state to reply with the whole truth.

"I got a better job offer elsewhere. Can I hang at your dorm before you drop me off at the hotel?"
"Sure, man. I have to warn you, though, Andy will not stop talking about Rio. He wants us all to go back when the semester ends." 

Patrick mustered up an entertained smile, but he supposed he wouldn't want to step foot in that city ever again. It would hurt him too much. He'd excused himself to the restroom when they had come up to the dorm, locking himself inside and slumping down on the closed toilet lid. He hadn't given himself a proper moment to think since the party. Now, though, he couldn't hold it in much longer. The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face with the muscles of his chin trembling. There was a rawness to it.