in love with 5sos!1!1!!1!11!

babies

Calum walks into the room and screeches like a 5 year old girl but I continue sucking Michael. But then Calum comes up and pushes Michael on the bed. I thought things were gonna get gay but then I remembered that everyone's in love with me.

"I have a bigger dick than him" Calum says.

"How do you know?" I ask.

"We have sex a lot" Calum says.

"Oh okay" I say.

Anyway then Calum pulls down his black jeans and tells me to start sucking. I shrug and start sucking and Michael just lays on the bed watching YouTube. Then Calum cums in my mouth. Then I walk out of the room.

"Hey Lukey just so you know I'm pregnant with ashtons baby" I say.

"Okay but you love me more so it's really my baby" he says.

"Oh well I guess that makes sense but I don't love anyone more right now" I say.

"But I have a lip ring" he says.

"Oh yea you're right I do love you more because of your sexy lip ring" I say.

Then Michael comes in. "Were going on a date" he says grabbing my hand. "Okay" I say. Clearly he's trying to distract me from Luke, but I've realized that of all the men, Luke is the one that I love, the one who's stolen my heart. Michael will never have what Luke has; a lip ring.

Michael takes me to Chili's which is extremely romantic. We get spicy chicken wings and then we talk.

He asked me what I like to do so I said eat and he said same see were meant to be.

Then he asked me what job I have or school I go to and I said that I don't have any job or school because my dad's rich and it makes the story a lot more convenient.

Then we talked some more and staring at his sexy bald head I knew that I was really falling for him and I didn't even know who meant more to me.

All the guys want to take me on constant dates which is fine by me. They asked to meet my friends but I don't have any. Well actually I do. I told them they could meet my best friend Susan, my belly button piercing. Susan means so much to me she's always there when no one else is literally since she's on my body. I also told them that I'm depressed.

Anyway after that Calum decided to take me on a date. I don't know how I feel about Calum. Luke has the lip ring, Michael is bald, and Ashton gives me that weird tingly feeling, but I have nothing with Calum.

"Ready to go?" he asks. I can tell his English isn't that good.

"Ching chong ling lang" I say, indicating that I'm ready. I actually know some Chinese so it's easy for me to talk to Calum.

"Kayla what the fuck?" he asks, clearly surprised that I know perfect Chinese.

"Konichiwa soy sauce Jackie Chan" I say, meaning don't worry, let's go.

"I don't know what you're saying" he says. Oh no, my Chinese is not good enough.

"Its okay, I'll get a translator" I say.

"Kayla I'm from New Zealand!"

"I know. New Zealand is in China."

"Ugh whatever let's go." he says "you're lucky I love you"

I think he's in denial that he's Chinese he always says on the internet that he's from New Zealand not China or another Asian country but I know he's really Chinese because of my superhuman powers.

Anyway we get to our date. I picked Panda Express because I wanted him to feel Chinese enough since he's in denial. We had a sexy conversation about my belly button. Then we had a conversation where he tried to convince me that he's not Chinese.

I like Calum. He's like the hot Asian bad boy that smokes. He's like a challenge. I'll have to convince him that he's Asian because sadly he's convinced himself that he's not, and that seems fun.

"Hey Calum." I said

"What" he said.

"Lets have sex in the bathroom" I said

"Yeah" he said

Then we had sex in the bathroom. It was fun. I would've worried that he didn't have a condom but I'm already pregnant so whatever.

Anyway then we went home. Ashton said "the baby will be a girl" I don't know how he knew this but I didn't care. I decided to name the baby Kaylani. Its like an uglier version of my name. And that's what I expect the baby to be too. An uglier version of me. Honestly though everyone is like an uglier version of me. Anyway after that Ashton says "let's go on a date."