in love with 5sos!1!1!!1!11!

hospital

I wake up and I'm in a hospital gown eww someone changed me ya lil nasty.

Anyway I see Kaitlyn ew that ratchet ass hoe.

"Ew gtfo" I say

"Why don't you like me" she asks

"Hoe you know why you stole my man"

"Bitch what"

"Don't act innocent you knew Luke was my man"

"Bitchhh I thought he was my man I'm breaking up with that lying bastard"

"Damn girl thanks" I say "You the realest fam"

Anyway then we hugged then the nurse walked in but

It was actually my mom!

I hissed at her bc she's a fucking snake.

"Kayla baby I missed you so much!" then she tries to hug me but I push that little platypus off of me hoe I'm Gucci don't touch me.

She looks sad but then she's happy. "Kaitlyn's moving in and she said you were too." she says. "Yeah because the four loves of my life broke my heart by hiring my father." I say

She wrinkles her nose. "Ew" she says. She hates my dad. Then Kaitlyn also says ew because everyone hates my dad except for my backstabbing two-timing baby daddies.

Anyway then I get changed and we went to our house. I opened the door and holy shit my dad was banging some slut on the couch.

"Robert! How the fuck did you get into my house?" my mom yelled.

Then I saw the girl my dad was banging. It was Maya!

"EW DAD SHES 16" I screamed really hotly. I'm always hot. It sucks.

Anyway Maya says "shut up shank you're sleeping with 4 guys"

OH NO SHE DIDNT SHE JUST DISRESPECTED MY BABY DADDIES THIS TIME ITS FOR REAL HOLD MY GUCCI HOOPS SHITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

I screeched like Jackie Chan and I ran at her at lightning fast speed like Usain Bolt. I shoved my dad off of her and punched the bitch in the tit that's right the tit then I ran to my room I could see that my mom and sister looked bored the whole time and my dad was just putting clothes on because he figured we ruined the mood anyway then I cut myself again ow then my sister came in after I cut myself though anyway she started talking.

"Why did you only punch her in one tit" she asked. Oh shit she's right. Anyway I went down and punched Maya in the other tit and then I went back up to room.

Anyway then I got a call.

It was from Hairy.

"Hey hairy." I say

"Hey Kayla after you fainted the guys hurt me because we got into a fight about who's your baby daddy and now I'm in the hospital." he says

"Oh okay cool" I say. Then I hang up. Then I decide to go to the mall with Kaitlyn. I see Maya being rushed to the hospital on my way out she's still naked that hoe can't just put her clothes on BEFORE she faints smh.

Also how the fuck did she faint I literally just punched her boobs.

Anyway ma gurlll kaitlyn and me get to the mall and we go to the food court because mmm food.

But then we see Lukey Pookie woah!

"Ew go away" I say.

"But Kayla I love you" he says

So anyway then I use my chop stick to hurl some orange chicken at his face.

But then he says "I have a lip ring" and I instantly fall back in love with him I run up to him ans make out with him and then Kaitlyn runs away crying haha oh well I'm back with my baby daddy who needs sisters anyway.

Anyway I'm like let's go back home and we do go back home.

"Luke my water just broke" I say.

"K" he says. He's watching Netflix so he doesn't really care. Ashton says "I'll drive you."

So Ashton drives me to the hospital woohoo and so I'm at the hospital and I get into my room because I'm gonna have a baby I hope she's ugly.

Anyway Im pushing out that little shit but I'm pretty sure they gave me really strong drugs because then I faint again.

I wake up and then I see there's a little human coming out of my vagina.

"Ew" I say.

Anyway then Kaylani's born Jesus she really is ugly well that's good.

Then they take her into this room where they do some shit to her. I walk out of my area and I know hairy is conveniently located right next to me because of my superhuman powers.

I walk over to hairy. "Hey hairy I just had a really ugly baby" I say.

"K" he says then we talk then I leave then they give me that little ratchet ass skank Kaylani.

"Ew I don't want this slut." I say. Not even a day old and she's already been in a vagina. Damn she moves faster than me.

Anyway they tell me I have to keep her. Then I go to the 5sos house with her Ella drives me.

Michael says "okay who's your baby daddy?"

I decide to tell them that after much thought I've decided my baby daddy is

"Ella!" I say

"What" they all say except for Ella she just says cool and then she leaves.

Anyway Michael says "baby gorilla no" and because of the name I'm literally ketchup again so I say "ugh fine Michael you can be my official baby daddy."

"Yay" he squeals. Then he leaps up like a princess frog ballerina lion and strokes Kaylani's bald head.

"I hope she stays bald forever" he whispers.