in love with 5sos!1!1!!1!11!

the manager

I wake up and there's Michael. Suddenli! I get a call and it's from my rich lawyer papa

I answer "ew papa why are you calling me?" he says "I have big news. I just became the manager of a Scottish band with an Asian kid called 5 seconds of September!!!"

"WHAT PAPA NO I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LAWYER"

"Oh yea I was but then I quit and decided to be a manager"

"BUT PAPA IM IN LOVE WITH 5SOS"

"I know you like them sweetie pumpkin cakes but why are you upset?"

"PAPA PAPA LISTEN THEY ALL LOVE ME 2 THO AND IM PREGNANT WITH THEIR BABY"

"I always knew you were on drugs honey anyway get some sleep I'm meeting with 5sos at their house in our town"

He hung up and I cried into Michaels head instead of the pillow because his head is softer and it feels like jello.

He wakes up and then he makes out with me which makes me stop crying. But then he leaves and I start crying again. I decide I should just go back to my repulsive shank ass mother.

I clap my hands and instantly my 8 servants magically show up woohoo anyway I tell them pack my things and they do while they do I write a note

Dear 5sos,

Ya lil nasty.

c u never lolz.

-Kayla ur bby grlla

Anyway after writing my super meaningful note me and all my servants jump out the window whee and we go back home ew.

I changed into new clothes now I'm wearing a pink crop top with denim booty shorts and I look hawttttttttttttt. Anyway then I walk in the mansion and I see my mother but she's making out with someone dayum that hoe moves fast.

I walk around hee but then.......

I see.....

The man is......

luKEY POOKIE!!1!1!1!!11!11!1

"WHA WHA WHA WHA WHA" I screech seductively.

Lewk gasps. But then I see that he wasn't making out with my mom he was making our with a girl who looks like my mom but really young.

"Whos this slut and why's she in my house" I ask lukey pookie.

"WHAT THIS IS YOUR HOUSE" he asks.

Then that little ratchet ass hoe who stole my daddy smiles sweetly and says

"Hi I'm Kaitlyn I'm your sister you never knew about and this is my boyfriend Luke" then she extends her hand.

BOYFRIEND??? WHAT??? SHE KNEW SHE WAS TRYING TO STEAL MY MAN BUT THEN SHE ACTS ALL INNOCENT OH NO HOLD MY HOOPS.

So anyway I spit in her hand and then I spit in her face and then I spit in Luke's face and then I cry and I run upstairs with my servants.

"Wait Kayla" Luke yells but I ignore it. Anyway then I cut myself ow. Then I call Ella.

"Hey Ella I'm depressed can I stay at your place"

"Lolzzz yea boi my place is the littest crib in town turn uppppp bitchhhhh"

"Yeah okay" I say

Anyway then I jump out the window again with my 8 servants and head to her house. But on my way there I see a familiar face.

"Kayla ayye gurl" Ashton says.

"Go away"

"Come on baby girl why did you leave we got a cool new manager you'll like him"

"NO ASHTON YOUR NEW MANAGER IS MY DAD"

"That's fabulous darling"

"No it's not!" I screech

Anyway then I get to ellas house turns out she's part of a gang how cool.

"Heyyy bitch" she says. She's drunk drunk wow.

"Hey you're drunk" I say

"Yeaaa u should get drunk tooooooooooooooooooo" she says

"No I don't drink won time my cat Mr. Fluffy Whisker Snuggles who just died drank alcohol and got sick" I wailed, remembering Mr. Fluffy Whisker Snuggles.

"Ok thennn" she says

"Ok now you've convinced me ill drink" Then I drink the alcohol woo fun.

"I'm having a party hoeeeee" Ella says and I tell her cool and then she has a party.

Everyone's at the party ooh how coolio I see this hawt guy.

"Hey there gurl" he says grossly. I bet he's a child molester he has really long hair all child molesters have really long hair that's a fact my great uncle Mortimer who has long hair told me.

"Ew go away" I said.

"Yah yah well my name's Hairy who are u love" he says.

"Wo aren't you hairy styles baby daddy of my dreams" I ask

"You know it love" he says

"My 4 potential baby daddies betrayed me will you be my baby daddy" I say

"Of course love" he says. He's British.

Anyway then I walk around and see a bald head. Ooh if he's bald I'd tap that any day I decide to go smash.

But then I see

Its Mikal.

Oh no!

I scream.

He sees me and walks over and then he smashes his lips into mine mmm daddy he tastes so good and bald.

But then Hairy shows up again and pulls mikal away.

"MIKAL STOP IM HER BABY DADDY"

and then Mikal says "NO IM HER BABY DADDY"

and then Calum shows up and says "NO IM HER BABY DADDY ID BE ASIAN IF SHE WANTED ME TO THATS HOW MUCH I LOVE HER"

Anyway then Ashton shows up and says he's my baby daddy and then Luke shows up and says he's my baby daddy and then I faint oh shit.