Eternal Flame ~ A Pemberley Fairy Tale

Chapter Nineteen - part 2

They left the office and walked a few streets away to a small restaurant tucked down a side street. Liz raised her eyebrows when she realised William had made reservations. She thought his offer of lunch had been a spur of the moment decision, rather than premeditated. The fact he’d been so certain he could take her out of the office concerned her.

Once the waiter had gone, William relaxed back in his chair. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He smiled. “I can tell there is. Your nose twitches when you’re annoyed.”

She wasn’t even sure she knew what was irritating her. Something just didn’t seem right. “Why did you come to the office?”

“Because I missed you…”—he sipped from his glass of water—“and I wanted to know whether you’d told them you were leaving.”

“I never agreed that I’d leave work permanently. I might be able to renegotiate my contract to work from home or something. I can’t just up and go without giving any notice.”

He blew out a frustrated breath. “You’re always thinking of other people. I wouldn’t mind you being selfish occasionally.”

“And would that be for my benefit or yours?”

“It just makes me angry when I think of all those years you were jumping at your stepmother’s every whim.”

“You don’t understand.” She picked up the salt shaker from the table, twisting it so the grains swirled around the glass. “You know, it took me a while but eventually I learned that my life was easier when I did what she asked without arguing about it. If I complained it made things more difficult and I still ended up doing the work anyway. It never helped to fight against her, so in the end I stopped fighting. Don’t you think I am thinking about myself by wanting to continue working after we get married?”

He seemed genuinely confused by her question. “But why would you want to work when you don’t have to?”

“Because I love what I do. It makes me grounded, connected with this country’s history. It reminds me that I’m a tiny part of something great. I want to celebrate that greatness and keep what was good about this country in the nation’s consciousness.

“Having my own income is important too. I don’t want to be just Mrs William Bingley, or even Mrs Fitzwilliam Darcy. I need to keep my own sense of identity. I suppressed it for so long when I lived at home and it took me a while to find it again. As much as I want to marry you and be a part of your life, if you demand I leave my job you are no better than Amanda.”

He looked at her for a moment in silence, then ran his fingers through his hair. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m the one who’s being selfish, trying to fit you into the wife-shaped hole I have in my life. I do try to keep up with all the modern trends, but my natural reaction will always be to protect you and provide for you.” He reached over to take her hand. “I’ve spent a long time getting my own way. You will have to be patient with me as I adjust. At the end of the day I want you to be happy, more than anything else. If that means you continuing to write and research, then you must do it.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t say it otherwise. Although, if you are going to work, I would be happier to see you based at Pemberley. You can have your own office. I’ll set you up with all the equipment you need. Perhaps we can sort something out with your boss once we’re married.”

“About the wedding. I’m not sure I can get time off on such short notice. We might have to wait—”

“Oh no. You can call me selfish, or any other name you like, but this is one thing I will not budge on. I want you as my wife, and I’ve waited long enough already. I’ve spoken to the Reverend Phillips and he’s ready whenever we are. All we need is a week…no, two weeks. Do you think your boss will allow you to take that time off?”