Sci-Fi Shorts

Sci-Fi Smackdown Round 1.3 - Bolt From the Blue

A/N - The prompt for this story was the single word "quasar."  1960 words.

"Mr President, are you sure you've got the right organisation?"

"Completely sure, Mr Cromulent.  Your company is the one we need."

"My company?"

"Yes."

"QUASAR?"

"Yes."

"Um, perhaps there's been some misunderstanding, Mr President.  I know QUASAR sounds all science-y and advanced and exciting.  But we're actually kind of...not.  Any of those things.  At all."

"Mr Cromulent, you can be assured that we know everything we need to know about QUASAR."

"And you still want to use us?"

"Yes, Mr Cromulent."

"For a matter of planetary security?  That's what your aide said."

"Yes, Mr Cromulent.  Although to be strictly accurate, this matter concerns the security of the entire solar system."

"Right.  And you're really, really sure you've got the right company?"

"For the last time, yes, damn it.  Mr Cromulent, we're fully aware that security matters do not usually fall within the purview of your organisation, however in this particular situation we must act as our needs dictate.  And they dictate that we need QUASAR.  Besides, is it not the case that you have a former Space Ranger among your staff?"

"Uh...I don't think so, Mr President."

"Do you have an employee named Quinn Bolt?"

"Bolt?  A former Space Ranger?  Ha!  Not a chance.  He used to be a...hmm, actually now that you mention it, I don't know what he used to be.  He's not much of a talker.  I always kind of figured he was an ex-con."

"Mr Cromulent, are you telling me that you don't run background checks on candidates prior to hiring them?  Or even look at their resumes?"

"Not so much, Mr President.  We do drug-test 'em."

"Well, that's something, I suppose."

"Not that Bolt passed."

"What?  Why on Earth would you hire a candidate who failed a drug test and about whom you know nothing?"

"Well, that's complicated, Mr President.  But it was mainly 'cause I thought he'd hit me if I didn't."

"Mr Cromulent, you are rapidly eroding my already limited confidence in the capabilities of your organisation.  Nevertheless, regardless of its shortcomings, QUASAR is our only option in this current, desperate situation.  Now, shut up and listen."

"Yes, sir."

"Firstly, we're going to need the communication codes for the vessel your company currently has en route to Neptune."

****

Simmo was relieving the relentless boredom of his watch with a power-nap when an insistent buzzing from the control panel interrupted him.  Blinking groggily, he switched on the intercom.  "Hey, boss!  We're getting a communication burst from Earth."

It was only a matter of moments before an irate Dumont stormed onto the bridge.  "It is about time.  'Ow dare they keep us in the dark for this long?  It is an outrage!  And as I have told you a thousand times, do not call me boss.  Call me chef, curse you!"