Worthless • Laurinah

Two

After spending the night at Vero's, Lauren decided that it was best to go home and talk to Lucy. She doesn't know what's going to happen with their relationship but she's hoping for the best.

Walking into the apartment Lauren say Lucy sitting on the couch. Can we talk? Lucy nods "yeah it think it's time." She agrees.

Lauren gives her a small smile as she took a seat on the couch. Do you love me she wrote down on a note. Lucy nods "of course I love you. Lauren, I'm sorry for acting the way I have it's just things have been so hard recently and I just didn't know how to handle everything I've been feeling. I'm so sorry for hurting you, baby I didn't mean it." She says.

Lauren smiled at her. Lucy I forgive you. I just wished you would have talked to me, we could have figured something out. Lucy nods "I know I was just scared." She spoke shyly. Lauren cups her cheeks and kissed her softly, letting Lucy know how much she loves her and she really loved her.

-

One Year Later
After their talk that night things did change, but the changed for the worst. Lucy began treating her way worst than she did before. Most nights Lauren was locked out of the house and was forced to sleep in her car. On nights when Lucy was feeling nice she let Lauren sleep in the guest room, but that was it. Lauren honestly didn't think that things between her and Lucy would get like this because she truly thought that Lucy was going to change and treat her better, but that didn't happen. She treated her worst than before and it hurts.

"God Lauren can you be any dumber?" Lucy chuckles dryly "I truly wish I never met you in high school because if I hadn't I could be happy with Alexa and have the life I've always wanted. I wouldn't be stuck her with an ugly, worthless, dumbass cunt like you!" She spat harshly.

Lauren sunk in her seat as she hung her head low as she let Lucy's words sink in. Worthless. This was a word the Lucy used often to describe her and you know what they say; if you get told something over and over again you start to believe it. Well that's what was happening with Lauren, she was beginning to believe that she was worthless and it really hurts.

"Honestly I should have accepted Alexa's offer to get back together because if I had just said yes I could possibly be happy right now. But no I rejected her because I wanted to work things out with you! God how could I be so stupid!?" Lucy said with a humorless chuckle.

Lauren just hung her head low as she let Lucy continue to spew out hurtful words towards her. Why did she stay? Why does she continue to let Lucy treat her like this? She doesn't deserve it.

-

As the weeks passed Lauren's confidence and self esteem were just withering away. The more Lucy told her how worthless she was, the more she believed it. The love that she used to have for Lucy was slowly going away and the girl that she once loved soon became a complete stranger to her. And as much as she hates to admit it she misses Lucy, but deep down she knows that the girl that she used to love was never coming back. The realization hurt but it was one that she learned to accept, no matter how hard it was.

Lauren was sitting on the couch drawing when Lucy walked in but she wasn't alone, she was with Alexa. Lauren knew, she knew that Lucy and Alexa were sleeping together but she decided not to say anything because she didn't want to cause a fight, but maybe she should say something. Maybe.

Her heart broke when she heard the bedroom door close and the sound of soft moans and kisses coming from the other side. Tears rolled down her face. Lauren could feel her heart crumbling in her chest as the moans got louder and louder. Ripping out the drawing she drew Lauren flips to a new page and began writing down what she was feeling.

Why does she treat me like this? Why does she hurt me the way she does? Did I not love her enough? Was I a bad girl? All of the above, maybe? I don't know. What I do know is that she's breaking my heart. I don't think she knows how much I love her and seeing her with Alexa hurts. It hurts a lot and I don't think she knows that. I just wished that she would take time to consider my feelings and see how much she is hurting me, because maybe if she did we could get past this rough patch that we are in. At least I hope we can.

-

After Lucy's night with Alexa the roles were now reversed. Lauren was now the one being distant and as much as it hurt her to do it was the only for Lauren to stop her heart from breaking anymore than it already was. She needed to protect her heart and the only way she could do so was by distancing herself from Lucy. It hurt but it was, what she had to do.

The hurt in Lauren's heart was sadly enough making it easier for her to fall out of love with Lucy. It sucks because they've been together for so long but Lauren didn't deserve to be treated like this. She didn't deserve the pain that Lucy was inflicting on her. So moving on from her was for the best. She couldn't take this abuse anymore, she didn't deserve this. Not at all.