Frayed Ties (Ties, Book 1) | ✓

Chapter 9

Danya awoke slowly, relaxed and comfortable, cuddled up against Simon's chest. He wished he could just stay there forever, where things were simple and right. Where things were, in this fragile band of time, finally okay.

But of course it didn't last. Eventually Simon shifted, realised Danya was awake, and sat up. He stared down at Danya for a long moment, his expression unreadable, before he finally spoke. "I guess we need to talk."

Danya broke eye contact. Of course they did.

Simon let out a deep sigh. "This new situation between us will... complicate matters."

He seemed to expect a response, so Danya gave a quiet hum of agreement.

"It was simple to keep things professional between us — or so I thought — by not touching you at all," Simon continued. "This will make things more difficult. Open up more opportunities for mistakes to be made."

Danya stared off towards the other side of the tent. He still wasn't brave enough to look at Simon. "Professionalism is an odd choice of framing. If I have a profession at all, touching is very much an aspect of it."

"I think you know what I meant."

Danya winced and his shoulders hunched up. He had always had more difficulty than the others remembering his place, and it had only become harder now that Simon refused to keep him in it. "Yes. I apologise. That was rather irreverent of me."

Simon's fingers pressed down on Danya's shoulder, and when Danya looked up Simon was actually smiling at him. "No, be as irreverent as you like. I just mean... as much as I dislike it, you're not wrong. But if any of this becomes entwined in you performing that role, well... that's the issue I hope to avoid."

Danya fought the urge to place his hand over Simon's. "Yes. I understand your concern."

"Do you? Because I feel like we haven't been doing a whole lot of understanding one another." Simon pulled his hand away from Danya's shoulder and balled it into a fist in his lap. "And yes, I think that goes both ways, because if you understood me you would have known you could tell me what you needed." Simon let out a breath, and then groaned and leant his head back. "Sorry. Hamish is right. I can't expect you to trust me if I don't earn it."

"I knew you would do it if I asked. Or... at least make sure I was taken care of somehow. I just didn't want it to be yet another imposition."

"It's not an imposition." Simon let out a long sigh. "It's a complication, but... it's fine. I don't mind it. It's just... I scare you enough as it is. This adds a whole new layer of opportunities for me to screw up."

"I'm not afraid of you touching me." He was afraid of Simon not touching him.

"Good. That's good." Simon rubbed a hand over his face. "Listen... I'm going to need you to take responsibility for your own needs. I will absolutely provide you with whatever contact you require, but I need you to tell me what you need and when or this is going to end in disaster. Again."

That wasn't Danya's preference, but... he nodded. "I understand."

"Good. Now, I'd better get going. I have a new member of my unit to get organised."

#

That evening, while Simon sat on his cot reading through some documents, Danya lay along his side and continued cleaning and mending his armour. Just being close to Simon felt incredible, but it was still an ongoing challenge not to press for more. He kept imagining himself crawling into Simon's lap and resting his head against his chest, and then maybe Simon would wrap an arm around him, pull him closer, and...