The Anatomy of a Broken Heart //Completed//

73. Santana

I loved him, stupidly, selfishly, but I did. It wasn't fair because I was no good for him. More than that, he loved me back, even after knowing what I'd done, who I was. But he didn't know everything I was capable of.

"Ready?" he asked. We stood in front of the door, on the other side of 'inside,' where beasts awaited to tear me to pieces. Caleb's eagerness squashed my nerves a little and I nodded. He took my hand in his left one and turned the knob with the other.

The bright lights inside blinded me for a second and when my vision adjusted, ten pairs of eyes stared right at us. I recognized a few surprised, but expectant faces. They knew I was coming, but needed to see it to believe it.

The twins sat on a seafoam green couch, lounging lazily. My nerves rang with annoyance at seeing them. It was their dad's fault I was going to have to switch schools in a few weeks. Bobby Tate and Mason Page were laughing loudly as they punched each other in the arm, bro-ing out. Others around us looked vaguely familiar, like the boys on Caleb's baseball team, and some girls I'd seen Maria talking to a couple of times. Farrah's bright red hair rose like the sun in the east from her spot on a chair.

I had wanted to thank her when I saw her during the play for having pulled through on her promise to help Maria. I never got the chance, but I still wanted to. She greeted us politely, almost like a hostess at a restaurant: "Welcome. Thank you for coming. For how many?" When I tried to form the words, my lips couldn't wrap themselves around the vowels and consonants. My tongue had fallen asleep in my mouth and she'd become bored with us. Through static filled ears, I heard Caleb thank her and steer my body clear of her bared teeth. Only after, when we were sitting amongst his friends did I realize she had been smiling.

"Do you want something to drink?" Caleb asked. I nodded and he and Daniel went to get us a couple of sodas and I settled into the lumpy couch. 

You'd think these rich kids would at least have comfortable couches, I grumbled internally.

"I like your dress," Audry said from her end of the sofa. Instinctively, I smoothed down the skirt of my dress so it covered my knees. "Aren't you cold though?" She scooted closer to me to inspect the thin fabric of my clothes.

I was cold, but whenever I came to the beach, which wasn't often enough, I liked to feel the soft sand on my bare skin.

"The boots help," I replied, looking around for Caleb and the soda which would keep me busy enough not to have to talk.

"Boots at the beach," she said.

"I can always take them off," I shot back and she shrugged.

"I guess you're right."

"What are you two talking about?" Bo came skipping to us and landed in the small space between Adriana and me, pushing us apart.

"How cute Santana's dress is."

"Oh, it is!" I squirmed a little under their scrutiny.

"You know Farrah has something like this. Did Caleb give it to you? I think he chose Farrah's."

"Audry, shut up! She doesn't want to know that."

They were doing it on purpose, I realized, to get some kind of reaction out of me. What I'd mistaken for polite conversation was just the subtle venom of teenaged pettiness.

"Oh, right. Sorry." She smiled innocently. "You know, she was so sure he was going to come begging her to get back together," Audry continued, unable to help herself.

"Didn't he?" Bo asked.

Audry looked pleased with herself as Bo's initial irritation dissipated into curiosity. "Well yeah, but Farrah wanted to be sure you know," she nodded at me. "Then he started dating you and she freaked out! That's when Abe came into the picture show."