The Anatomy of a Broken Heart //Completed//

78. Santana

The night was one of the coldest all season, but I couldn't stay cooped up inside after the day I'd had. I climbed out the window to my room and sat on the roof wrapped up in a fluffy blanket that barely kept the cold from seeping through. Not only did I have to deal with Emmanuel and Ginger Spice talking down to me and making me feel like an idiot, but my darling mother corralled me in the parking lot after school, still dressed in her tightest hoochie dress.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I hissed at her, shoving her into my car before anyone saw her.

"I made sure Maria was gone before I got off the car," she tried to reassure me, but I was still fuming. "Besides," she shrugged, "I hadn't seen her in so long and I wanted to know how she was. She's so pretty and her hair is so short! She's grown up so much, both of you have."

Her hand reached out to pat my cheek but I slapped it away. "You have no right to even look at her! That was the deal, remember? You stay the hell away from her and I get you your money. You're not allowed to play the mom card, especially not with her."

My breathing was labored and the windows were beginning to fog, making it hard to see outside. I hoped no one could tell who was in here with me.

"Speaking of which..." Her hand extended out to me expectantly. I dug around in my purse and pulled out a stack of 20s and slapped them into her open palm. She greedily counted the money until she reached the end and frowned. "That's it?" Her eyes widened and her head shook back and forth confusedly. "Eighty bucks? I thought this kid was loaded!"

"I didn't get the money from him. That's over." It was the third time I'd had to tell someone that Caleb and I were no longer together and each time it stung a bit more to admit the truth. I had to force myself to remember his easy smile when I saw him earlier in the library, to recognize that he was okay, safe away from me and my mother, to ease the pulsing ache in my chest.

"What did you do?" demanded my mother.

"Nothing!"

"Of course you did something. You always do something stupid!"

"He broke up with me! He realized he was better off with a bougie like himself and dropped me. Get over it." It wasn't the truth, but it could've been, eventually. I always knew that what Caleb and I had, no matter how true, wouldn't last long. The dichotomies between us would have been too big to overcome as time progressed. It was better this way.

It's so much better this way, I kept repeating to myself, like a prayer.

"You really are a stupid girl," mom spat. "Even when you were little, all you did was make things difficult. And I tried. God, I tried so hard to love you, to even tolerate you. I remember going into your room and sitting by your bed, forcing myself to love you and I just couldn't. Then your sister came along and everything was so different. She was just perfect. I don't know what it was about her, but everything just seemed easier." She shook her head and sat back in the seat, not looking at me anymore.

Tears sprung to my eyes, despite the nails digging into my palms or the teeth biting my cheek. I felt blood flood my mouth and I swallowed back the metallic taste.

"Then you bailed," I muttered darkly.

Her head turned back to me and her hardened mask was set perfectly over her features. She didn't even blink when she said, "I guess I know why that boy left you. You're not easy to love Santana."

"Got it, thanks."

She sighed and opened the car door. "I'll call you soon," she said before slamming the door shut.