hey.........

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I'm sorry for not updating........school's been in the away and well I haven't got enough time. Also I've been wanting these art pens called Chameleon pens. So I asked my dad for some money and my mom said I could buy them but now..........SHE FUCKING WANTS ME TO GET SOMETHING ELSE THAT WOULD BE "MORE USEFUL!" SO I THINK WHAT my mom's trying to say that I should give up......on being an artist. Now I feel so guilty..  so....so.......terrible. It makes me feel that I should just give up. I'll never be good artist..................I want to return the money but my dad told me to keep it. And......and I JUST CAN'T! IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M STEALING FROM HIM! I-I can't anymore. It just hurts..........I'm just so broken and I can't be fixed. I'm so broken so so broken. Every harsh word she says just breaks me even more. I also was doing fine......I wasn't depressed or suicidal and I haven't been bullied........it just makes me feel happy and wanted. But.............my mom had to ruin it for me. Just me..............she hates me because I'm not up to her "expectations" She loves everybody except me. The reasons behind why she doesn't like me is:

1: I'm an Otaku and for some reason she doesn't like me being an Otaku.

2: I was a bit more different than my sisters.

3: I'm not up to her damn "expectations"

4: She just hates me.

5: Oh yeah.........I'm not "girly" enough. She thinks of me as a boy. Just bc I don't like some other stuff that girls like doesn't mean I'm a "boy"

It keeps breaking me. I just want to advance in art........I want to be a Manga writer/artist. Is it wrong that I want to be a Mangaka? So anyways I'm done with my ranting. I'm sorry you guys have to hear my bullshit and problems.............they're not even be anything you should worry about. I'm sorry that I exist and also I'm going to update today so yeah. (I'm sorry that I exist)

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