Satin and Saxophones

Nice and Proper.

The spotlight glared into my eyes making my knees quake into one another. Feeling as though I was towering over reality the space between it all wrapped in black satin. There was four men that had taken their place on stage, that I didn't recognize. Each of them with an instrument perched in front of them. Looking as though they belonged wholeheartedly, making me wish i could take myself out of my body to catch a glimpse of my body poised in front of the microphone. I peered out of the corner of my eye catching the shining light reflecting off of the polished bass that was cradled on a tall curly haired man's shoulder, his bow sitting on top of his black shined shoe. To my left a man sat at large black piano, and another man held a trumpet both of them looked back at me and smiled before returning back to their conversation. The brushing of a body beside me took me off guard until his hand found its way to the small of my back instantly clicking who it was. As he gave the area a small comforting pat, his hand wrapped around the microphone pulling it to his body.

"Good Evening, ladies and gents." he said with an energy in his voice that I had never heard even after all of the nights I had spent sitting or dancing among the crowd, but now I recognized him. He had always caught my attention with his pale skin and slicked back hair. The smell of Brilliantine, and his cologne filled my nose sending a shiver down my spine. The spice that surrounded him was comforting. I watched as the spotlight shined in his hair making me fight the urge to run my fingers through it, and shut my eyes. Anxiety filling my lungs, making me feel as though i'd ever get my voice into working order. My mind sighed to itself reminding myself to just focus on one thing at a time, "he smells good." Was the only thought wavering through my mind, as his silky voice began screaming into the microphone again. "We've got an extra special treat tonight. We get to debut this gorgeous lady in a get up that doesn't even begin to do her justice on our stage tonight, so put your hands together for Gee, and your feet on that dance floor." Frank finished as a trumpet sounded behind me bringing to reality what song I needed to find the words to in my spinning brain that was stuck on the fact that he everyone in this club was believing that I Gerard Arthur Way was actually a woman, actually Gee. My frozen legs found the strength somewhere to step forward to the microphone, and my hands to cradle it in my awkward hands. The sound of Frank's saxophone pulling my fragile state into check as my words gathered in readiness to start pouring out of my lips the way the song birds used to do on my window sill.

"Blue skies smilin' at me, nothin' but blue skies do I see." I stuttered gathering my footing on the second set of blue skies as I peered over my shoulder over to where Frank stood his smile wrapped around the wooden reed in his sax. Before I knew it we had blown through the set list the feeling of performing was so much different than sitting down in the pit singing along. Applause erupted in the crowd along with a few roses thrown around my feet, adrenaline setting in as I bent to pick them up and blow kisses out into the screaming, but faceless crowd. The feeling tearing through my nervous system making my forehead prickle into a sweat that was starting to cake my powder. "That was.." I panted trailing off as Frank's strong arms wrapped under my backside and lifted me off the ground into a full 360 spin.

"Doll, that was amazing. Don't ever let anyone tell you you're just a pretty face." he smiled poking his finger under my chin bringing my again blushing face to his eye level. "Tell me, cash or check?" he asked making me slap my hand into his chest lightly in his forward approach, but secretly regret not responding. Instead brushing past him behind the guys in a unison of "congrats" and "butt mes" as I settled myself back onto the dressing table chair to wipe my forehead and lipstick off. I stared back at myself a sense of confidence waning over me happily, until reality set down heavy on my chest as my eyes wavered down to my suitcase that was crowding my feet. There was no possible way i'd be able to keep up appearances, and the guys would find out undoubtedly about my living situation. Shame surrounding me I almost let the fact that I wouldn't be able to hide a 5 o'clock shadow forever. It was easy to hide in dim light like this, but eventually they'd see me, and see the real me that I tried to hard to hide from even myself. Pulling the jeweled hair comb out of my hair and laying it gingerly beside all of the makeup littering the table, a curtain of hair spread back over my shoulder, instantly making me look dowdy even with the evening gown still on. I begged my mind to hold onto the magic of the night, instead of the appearance of my body back into what only seemed like rags now. My suitcase seemed so much lighter now, causing a sinking feeling to burrow up into my chest. My life had always been empty if I was honest with myself,but the fullness that I had felt on stage seemed useless as I looked to a path of being right back where I had been four hours ago. As I tried to slip out of the back door without Frank noticing his voice yelled after me forcing me to close the door back and meet his eyes. His tie was now loosened, and the top buttons of his shirt were undone showing his chest making my breath hitch as I raised an eyebrow in wonder. Why on earth would he care about me? "Look I know you're sleeping in alleys and you deserve much better. I wanna get you set up nice, and proper, but I can't rightfully do so at three in the morning. What I can offer you tonight is a hot meal at Topaz, a warm shower or bath, and a place to sleep. Please take me up on it." he smiled nervously afraid he has insulted me as i rolled up onto the balls of my feet. A nervous tick that I had never really been able to shake.

"Oh Frankie." I sighed ignoring any worry that was trying to snake itself up inside me.

"Sounds good, baby. Lemme grab my sax, and coat and we can go get some grub." he smiled disappearing in a sense of deja vu behind the curtain leaving me enough time to stash a few of the products in my padded brassiere.