Satin and Saxophones

A Man in a Dress.

"Well, uhm Gee." he sighed leaving his one hand on mine, and reaching the other to wrap around the back of his neck and pull the the way you do when you don't really know what to say. "I have a question for you." he finally said after exhaling in a heavy groan what seemed like hours ago, but was only moments. "Deep down right this moment, on self image merritt alone are you a woman or a man in a dress? he asked his finger raising my chin so that we were looking into each othe rs eyes.  Making my heart beat into my stuffed braisere so hard that I swore the strap would fall off of my shoulder just to cloud my upper arm in annoyance. My knees shook as I felt the fabric of my stocking knocking together in increasing static electricity. As his hand stilled back into my lap with our eyes still locked I caught sight of my reflection in the silver of his watch. My distorted face staring back at making me shiver. My hands flying to my face to prevent the running of my makeup that would surely happen if I ignored my intensifying emotion.

"A woman." I smiled in his comfort, and his understanding. Nobody had ever asked me about my identity. I never felt comfortable enough to admit the me that dwells under the personification of my brain. Saying it out loud for the first time out loud to basically stranger made my nerves tingle through my body in nervousness that faded so quickly I couldn't even scold myself for opening my mouth. I no longer feared him knowing my living conditions, and ever inch of my truth. As he could deductively reason through everything now with the large pieces provided. Frank's toothy grin smiled up at me, and then turned back to the dogs crowding out feet.

"Well you heard that kids, we've gotta get this lady her beauty rest then." Frank said his hands raising for each of the muts faces giving them a little shake as I stood up. "Do you need a set of pajamas, or would you just like a shirt." he asked with a wink, and his smirk that was starting to be the bane of my existence as well as my brightest part of the day. His hands reached for the glass knobs of the two french doors to the left of the living room, curtained in black velvet. He walked through the doorway into the grandest bedroom I had ever seen. The bed large, and a tousled mess of satin, fur, and pillows. A bourbon glass on his side table, and a pair of boxers discarded beside his bed confirmed that he didn't have a girlfriend or a maid from what I could tell. Not that I minded, i'd tidy up the house in exchange for him letting me stay here until I started making enough money to get a place of my own. Frank's swift shoulder brushed past mine as he lowered down onto his knee to open a the bottom drawer of his large armoire. "What'll it be, doll?" he asked again holding up a black pair of each. Before I reached to grab the set my face turned red and my hand snaked up to crowd my lips.

"Thank you." I whispered against my hand, my cheeks and heart flushed with the presence of his blind compassion. The way he spoke about the people and things he loved had this aura that made me so much so to be added to the list. I wanted someone to speak of me one day the way Frank spoke of his Nonno, I wanted someone to make love to me the way he played music. His fingers pulling melodies out with a confident precision that i'd personally never hold to my voice. My brain wavered over the thought of his fingers playing my body, and melodies translating to moans. I made myself instantly shake the thought as he led me into the bathroom, and leaned over the tub to turn on the water.

"There's soap and everything right over here. Don't worry it's only for one night, tomorrow we will go get you some nice stuff. Not to mention a new dress for the show on Halloween. I have to have my girl decked on in the finest of lace and satin for my birthday." he winked walking back into his bedroom closing the door behind him the sounds of frantic tidying seeing through the door cracks. Turning to the mirror I studied over my face, the subtle glow that had encased the features I was almost sure I had memorized after all of this time glaring holes into them. All of the hours spent learning just how to apply my makeup just right. I had memorized them so well that the memory of them had burned a hole so deep into my brain that even in my sleep I could rarely escape to a place where I looked any different. I could recall as a hold sitting at my mothers dressing table pulling at my eye lids, running a spit covered finger up through my lashes to get then to just the right angle, and smiling in a million different ways to find just the right subtle grin. My small teeth were little saviors to my grin, I had always thanked God for blessing me with that one part correct. Other than my brain, heart, and teeth I had always just felt as though he had pulled a double putting dowdy humans together and started pulling from all of his different boxes, and slapped me together as an afterthought to meet a quota. Unzipping my dress I allowed the fabric to waft in the daftless bathroom down to my ankles still wrapped up in stockings and topped off with my heels. The feeling of stepping out of them bringing a release of comfort from toe to spine that I hadn't felt in what seemed like years. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub I unclipped my garters allowing my stocking to slack up on the took of my thighs. The thin run covered material feeling as thought it was going to disintegrate off of my pale skin. Unhooking the clasps on the front of my girdle the dingy white material of my hack job of a shortened pair of boxers started to show through making me realize that it was the only thing left of Gerard that I had left in a way. The act of disrobing always was the worst part of a bath as I took off all of the things that made me feel even a percentage closer to my identity as Gee and was only left with my biologics. Switching the faucet off as I swirled my hand in the warm water, excitement bubbling through me making the act of taking off my brassiere less painful than usual even with the small cloud of my fabric provisional breasts falling to my feet as I slipped my boxers off and allowed the warm water to envelope my body in comfort.