Enduring

Epilogue

Cal holds me, quaking legs and half swallowed tears, tightly to his chest. The wide backseat of his car is warm, heated by the smiling sun and two hours' time, and I let the comfort soak through my sweatshirt.

"Alright, love? You okay? Need anything?" I shake my head, pressing closer to him. His scent floods my nose, and I breathe out a little bit of the anxiety I had been holding.

It wasn't bad in the counseling center. The man I had talked to, called Martin, was gentle, with a quiet manner and hands made for making cups of tea. But, the office was cold, and the leather chair I sat in was larger than needed. Martin hadn't pushed further than I wanted to go, and I hadn't even cried.

But, now that it's done, that the scary part is over, I can't seem to stop crying.

This is ridiculous. He's probably so embarrassed of you. I shake my head, banishing the words immediately. No, he loves you.

"Sweetheart? Are you sure you're alright? If you don't wanna come back, we don't have to." Cal smoothes my hair gently, tucking some of the longer strands away behind my ear with the sort of tenderness rare in men these days. "I don't want to do this if it hurts."

"It's supposed to hurt." My voice is muffled by the closeness. "That's how it works. It's okay."

Cal hesitates, hand still in my hair, and I can almost imagine him biting his lip. "You sure?"

"Positive." I sit back on my heels and look up at him, smiling through my puffy eyelids. He smiles at me, too, planting a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. My face warms with sunlight.

"Okay. Ready to go get fro-yo? I have coupons," Cal grins, hands tightening just barely on my hips. His hair frames his face, backlit like a halo, and he looks, again, like an angel.

"Sure thing, love." He kisses all over my cheeks and forehead until I am a pile of giggling, blushing goo, and ushers me to my seat.

Wow, I am so lucky. My cheeks hum warm little tunes, and I focus on buckling my seatbelt without fumbling it too badly. "Hey, Sey? Close your eyes for me, 'kay?" He catches the brief look I give him, amends, "Please, close your eyes, just for a second? I'll be fast."

I let my lids fall closed. "Okay," I begin, "you know how I feel about surprises."

"Shh, you'll like this one. Don't peek." His voice is farther away now, and quiet rustles fill the car. Cal's smell is all of a sudden closer. "Okay. Open."

He sits with a small paper bag in his lap, toying with its handles in his giant fingers. "So, I was gonna wait until we got to the yogurt place, but..." A shrug, partnered with a sheepish smile. "It seemed too public."

I can feel my cheeks starting to heat already. "What is it?"

"W-well..." Cal shrugs again, staring at the bit of seat in front of his seat. "This might be too early. But, you know, fuck it. Uh," he opens the bag, suddenly much quieter, "I sort of bought you something."

Is it a ring? Holy hell, it's gonna be a ring, isn't it? "Cal, oh, God, what is it?" My voice has gone all soft and rose-watery, and I'm really hoping I don't cry. He pulls a small velvet box out of the bag. Ohshitohshitohshit okay breathe it's fine this is fine. "Cal-" The word is shaky and light, barely more than a gasp.

"Now, let me explain. This isn't a proposal or nothing like that, it's just a... a promise." He opens the box, holding it so I can't quite see the contents. "A commitment, I guess." The last part is a whisper, and it hits me that, for once, I might not be the most anxious person in the room. He slides the band out of the box, holds it between the two of us.

It's precisely the type of ring I might wear, thin and silvery, with two tiny opal stones set in the middle. "Oh, Cal," I breathe, biting my lip. "It's beautiful." The sunlight sashays across the surface of the stone on the left, and I feel the urge to cry building.

"And, it, um," he lets out a nervous chuckle, "it's engraved. It says 'Suddenly', because I thought of how we sorta just got together and all of a sudden I was in love with you, and I thought it could play on the song from Little Shop of Horrors, you know? But, it's sort of dumb." He spins the ring around his finger while he speaks, clearly rethinking the entire endeavor. "So, uh, I understand if you don't want it, or anything; like, I can probably return it, or-"

I cut him off with a kiss, something I've seen in several movies, but never had the opportunity to do myself. "Stop worrying. That's my thing," I mumble against his lips. He just kisses me again, softly. "I love it."

"Good. Okay. Um." He pulls away just far enough to slip the ring onto my ring finger. Before doing so, though, he looks into my eyes. "With this ring, I swear to be there for you whenever you need me, even if we aren't together anymore. I promise I'll be patient, and good, and I'll even massage your feet and shit when you have a bad day." I laugh, pretending I'm not teary-eyed, and he flashes me a quick smile, bright and glittery. "And I'll make sure you have the most bomb ass sex in the world, and I will be the poster trophy boy for you."

My face burns, almost to the point of tingling. I'm not sure if my car tires are still on the ground because my heart is floating so high in my chest. The man in front of me shakily pushes the ring onto my third finger, and, though it's a little loose, I know that I will never take it off.

"Aw, shit, Seymour. Don't you go crying on me; you know I can't handle that." He tugs me back into the same slightly damp spot I had been lying in before. "But, I have a question."

I take a deep breath, soaking in his scent. Calm swirls in my lungs, and I breathe out into his sweater. "Yeah?"

"How do you feel about car sex?"

I pause, then pull away from him, and fix him with a stern glare. "You're a horny lil shit, you know that?"

He kisses a spot behind my ear, one that he knows will make me shiver, then smiles wide. "You know you wouldn't have it any other way."

He's right, though I'll never tell him so. But, from the way he smiles, he probably already knows it.

A/N:

Woo it's done! What a ride, you know? I will miss these boys and their drama, but I am sorta glad to have finished it. I'm pretty glad with the final product.

How do you guys feel about it? Any tips for me on the future? Things you think I could/should do better plot or character wise? I'm all about growth from criticism :) (I especially could use help with pacing if anyone's got any pointers 😊)

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this, be sure to check out my other stuff!
❤️
AJ