You Can't Have Me (BoyXBoy)

Complications of My FRIENDSHIP

He hasn't talked to me since three nights ago when we sat on the edge of the waterfall and he told me about everything I missed. He hasn't come out of his room since three nights ago when I said I wanted him. He hasn't looked at me since I grabbed his face and made him look me in the eyes and tell me why we couldn't be together. I haven't breathed since the four words he told me.

"They will hurt you."

I took a shaky breath as I laid in the room two doors down from his and wondered what he was doing in that room. Was he thinking of me or Alec? Was he wondering about how I was feeling or was he contemplating his own over Alec? Was he smiling at the memories we shared or was he thinking of the ones he had with Alec? 

I'm obsessed. I decided. I can't get this man out of my head when just a week ago I was a straight as a pole. This young man had managed to tear my pole out of the ground and then snap it over his knee. This young man has managed to take my beating heart of my chest and shove it in his pocket. He has managed to make me want him like I've never wanted anyone before and that is including my dear Lizzy. 

A knock sounded at my door but I did not care. If it was important they would come back when I wasn't sulking my brain out of the fucking atmosphere. I had been so depressed over the years, but this weight on my chest was almost more than all of that time. Lizzy had been the love of my life, but something always felt off once I met Black. It felt like I was a barbie that had been set up in a life I didn't belong in. 

The knock sounded again I groaned. "Come back later unless your name is Axel, Philip, or Black," I groaned. "Never mind. Just Philip or Black." I wasn't quite ready to see my little brother yet. He had purposely avoided the conversation of my child's death with me. I knew I was a crap ass parent but I had left him in hands that I thought could take care of him. Boy had I been wrong. 

The door slowly opened and I opened my mouth, ready to tell Axel to fuck off, when the sweet smell of Irish Spring hit my nose. "Black?" I said as I sat up. I looked at the door and there stood Black in, you guessed it, all black, 

"Uh, hi," he mumbled under his breath. If I had not been a wolf, I would probably not been able to hear it. I watched as he bit his lip and rubbed his fingers through his hair. I wanted to get up and run over to him, begging for him to just take me and make me feel what gay was but I knew if I did that, I would hear about it for the rest of my almost immortal life.

I straightened my shoulders and tried to look like I hadn't been worrying about him for the past three days straight. "Did you- uh- need something?" I asked, mentally cursing myself for stuttering. If only he knew the way me and my wolf fought over him, maybe he wouldn't be so timid as to take me up on my offer. Maybe he would be mine and mine only. 

"That's very optimistic," Black said suddenly with a sad laugh. 

I looked at him confused. "What are you talking about?" 

"You- just- never mind," he mumbled. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." I could tell he was lying by two things. One, he wasn't meeting my eyes. Two, his heart beat went faster than normal. I wanted to cal him on it, but my wolf told me to stay calm and access this situation better. 

Black had come into my room after three days to "check" on me. What are his real motives and do they match my own?

"Black, what are you really doing here?" I asked again, giving up on holding my tongue. His head snapped up and we made eye contact for the first time. I saw the newly formed purple bruise that shadowed just under one of his beautiful blue eyes and it made my whole boy go into overdrive. 

Before I could even think about what I was doing, I was across the room holding his face in my calloused hands. I checked all over his face before moving his V-neck out of the way so i could inspect his body. I couldn't see anything so I went to the button to his pants. He grabbed my hands and I slapped his before going back.