-Chapter 20-

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I don't know how long we've been here. My head pressed against his shoulder, his arms lightly, awkwardly almost, wrapped around me. We sunk to the floor after a while, and we sit legs bent, turned inwards so we almost face each other. We don't speak. Though I've stopped crying I know I could cry forever if I was prompted to. He's being quiet, careful, not wanting to set me off again. He absentmindedly runs his fingers through the ends of my hair.

"We should go," I murmur. He jumps, glancing down at me and nodding. He gets up, then pulls me to my feet.

I smile at him. I feel achy. Empty. Like someone who has poured every ounce of themselves out and got nothing back. I shiver at the cold of the bathroom, it must be late. I can't help but think about Neville and his parents. He told me about his parents while the Weasleys were away, I don't know why he chose me, but he did. He was so quiet and careful about how he put his words, almost scared that he would get into trouble if he said it wrong. It made me feel special. He chose me. The others like Neville, of course, but sometimes they don't appreciate him. I hope he knows I appreciate him. As a friend. If his parents went through what I did, he must be strong. He must get it from them.

I look up at Draco, eyeing him. Trying to decipher what he is thinking. He looks worried, tired, spent. He's trying to find a way to help me without getting into trouble himself. He's finding out there's no way.

I take his hand and squeeze it, and his eyes meet mine. "I'll be ok," I say,

I let his hand go, and pull my robe back on over my uniform. I turn to look at myself in the mirror. Thankfully, my face has recovered from my tears and looks normal. I turn back to Draco.

"Shall we?"

"After you,"

We walk tentatively out of the bathroom, making sure we're not spotted by anyone, not even the paintings. Thankfully, these particular walls have very few t no paintings on them, so we walk down them unnoticed. We pass the entry to a courtyard, and shiver as a gust of winter air hits us. The sky is growing dark. It's probably dinner time.

When we reach the Great Hall, we stop just outside the doors.

"I'll go first," I say, and he nods. Just as I go to leave, he grabs my arm and pulls me back.

"Wait-"

"Yes, you wait until I've sat down and some time's passed. With any luck, no one will think we were together at all."

"No, what I want to say is, won't Harry know now? Wouldn't he have felt it?"

I have thought of that, and I doubt it. If that was so, I have a feeling they would have tried to find me, and tonight would be going very differently. I have a funny feeling that the potion Snape gave me is so much stronger to the point where he won't even feel my pain, no matter how strong. Like we're normal.

"No, I don't think so," I answer,

"Why not?"

"Snape gave me a new potion, remember? It's a lot stronger than the other one. I'd bet Harry didn't so much as flinch."

He gives me a pained look, and I smile at him.

"I'm ok, Draco. A bit hungry, actually, so I'll see you- I'll see you at Christmas if not before then. Take care of yourself." I give him a hug, then pull back, smiling, and turn the corner into the Great Hall. Hermione waves me over.

"Where on earth were you?"

"Umbridge kept me for ages, sorry. What did I miss?"

Ron and Hermione glance at each other, and Harry puts his face in his hands. I grin. "What? Tell me!"

"Harry kissed Cho," The twins say in unison. Fred, who's sitting to Harry's left, elbows him. Harry looks up at me.

"Well done Harry!" I say, raising my glass and taking a sip. I take a breath, now's my chance. "I'm afraid I didn't feel anything, though. I think this potion's much stronger, I don't even get your dreams anymore. Have you felt anything recently?"

Harry creases his forehead, and I prepare for all my lies to fall apart.

"No, I don't think so. Which is weird."

I nod in agreement. Thank god.

xxx

That night we all scrambled around the room packing for Christmas break. Hermione and I went over the spells we'll be using on Draco one more time. I won't actually be doing it, however, because I'm underage. We've convinced Fred to come and do them for me. In return, I have to pay him fifty quid, but I don't mind.

We stuff the last of our clothes into our cases and fall into our beds exhausted.

The morning comes early, and we're all awake and dressed an hour before we normally are, ready for the train to London. The Weasleys, Hermione, Harry, and I are all staying at Grimmauld place for Christmas. From what I can gather, Sirius is ecstatic and will meet us at the station (in dog form, of course) with Molly. Arthur is still in hospital, but will be out by Christmas.

After breakfast students flood down to the station, babbling about how excited they are and saying goodbyes and 'I'll miss you's. When we reach the station, Hermione and I lose the rest of the group. We wait for our turn to board the train.

"Where were you yesterday?" She asks, breaking our silence. "I mean, what happened? Why did she want you?"

I gulp, "She wanted to ask about where I'd been,"

"Did you tell her about the Army?"

"No," I lie,

"Good. It's the best thing I think we've ever done, I'd just hate for her to ruin it,"

I nod, and follow her up onto the train.

I've ruined it. I'm going to ruin it.

xxx

Okie Dokie,

So there ya have it!

Next chapter is the Christmas one I think so get excited! (I think it is anyway idk)

Thanks for reading!

xx Taylor

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