What color is your ribbon?

Chapter 9 "Time is in the eye of the beholder"

(Warning! the three letter "s" word is discussed in like no detail. haha)

*My dad's bringing me in 20*

*Awesome c u soon*
When Emily comes over I do nothing to my appearance, she accepts me for me. I'm sure Jake would too, but I definitely do not want to risk any chances I may have.
Emily must have just let herself in because my mom and brother aren't home. Also I didn't hear the door bell.
"Don't have pregnant, you'll get sex and die!" She said slamming the door open.
"First of all, wrong order, second of all don't worry my legs are closed. Third of all, how high are you?"
"Just a couple of pain killers." She said plopping herself on my bed. "Why are there M&Ms every where?"
"Jake tried to be romantic by feeding me M&Ms but we ended up in a little war." I paused for dramatic effect,"And the a Mega make out session." I added that at the end.
"Any shirtless action?" I didn't respond right away, putting her in suspense.
"Um well... No, I wish there was though. Now you see,I have this theory,from observing countless movies and television shows,that he has abs. Proof is very important to the scientific method."
"That was wrong on so many levels but keep me posted." She responded, eating some of the candies.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, while I debated the next proposition that I was going to state. I decided to hell with it, I'm just going to tell her everything.
"Also when we were making out his shirt kept sliding up and I didn't want to just take it off. And he didn't take it off either. But if I took it off then he may have done likewise to me. this is like my first relation that has gone past holding hands"I said with confusion obviously riddled in my tone.
"That must have been awkward." She said, after she pondered her thoughts momentarily
"It's just a little bit, not as much as you would think though." Then I turned on some music and we just sat there on our phones, listening to my playlist creatively titled 'or nah'. I checked my messages and Jake texted me.
*Hey bæ*
*Hey;)*
I don't really want to call hime my 'before anyone else' because Emily has always been and will always be the first person I think about.
*What's up?*
*Hanging with Emily hbu?*
*Nothing much. Just regretting something a little bit*
*What?*
The next message took a few minutes to arrive. I was worried that he wasn't telling me something about his past, or that he already has a girlfriend. my mind raced a million miles a minute thinking of all the bad things that could come up when I read the next message. what if the little wall I just began to build is already falling down with out me knowing? my phone vibrated, I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.
*My shirt was so awkward last night.*
I couldn't help but smile at my brief foolishness. I think my heart began to swell. In a good way for once.,
*You know, it really was*
*I wish I just took it off*
*I wish that too ;)*
*At least now there's an agenda for next time were alone. Speaking of that, when is your next infusion?*
*2 days hbu?*
*Same:) want a ride?*
*I'd love one.*
Emily looked over my shoulder.
"Woa wait who loves what? Are you not telling me something?" She said in an accusing tone.
" I said I'd love a ride to my infusion, chill would you?" I said turning off my phone an flipping it over so the screen was down. I love and trust emily, but I probably should make it so my messages don't preview on my home screen. got other reasons too, like my mother and nosey preteen brother.
"Anything you want to tell me? I glanced over the word 'shirtless'" she said.
"You little bitch," I smiled and spoke in a playlist tone to reassure her that in fact she was not a bitch, but far from it. He just said that he wished he took his shirt off and I said that I wished he took his shirt off too." She opened her mouth but before she could voice her opinion I added,"And don't worry I'm not going to take my shirt off."
"Good." She replied.
"Yet, anyways" I said then she slapped me. "I hate my scar so much to begin with, it is all messed up from the hypermobility too. Well you know." I said, looking down at my stomach.
"I'm not promoting sex or anything by any means, but Jake is probably going to be the most understanding guy on the face of the planet."
"True I guess." I responded.
"I have a question for you. Not necessarily pertaining to Jake, but when would you have sex?" She asked, a little embarrassed, even though she really shouldn't be, we are almost legal after all.
"Well I'd have to be with the guy for like a year, and he has to like me for me. Also we have to talk about it and make sure it's the right choice." I said, very thought out and professional like.
"That's good to hear." She said.
"How about you?" I asked her. She looked to the floor before continuing eye contact with me.
"Depends, if they give me 6 months to live I'd probably do anything short of ordering a hooker. But since I'm going to live a full life, I just want a guy that I love who loves me, and we have to have a possible future." Emily said, like she planned her answer too.
"I mean I've been on birth control since I was like 10 so why not just pursue a successful life of prostitution. Like the house keepers in My Antonia." I resorted to mentioning.
Emily picked up a pillow and tossed it at me. "The one book you read." She said, shaking her head in slight disgust.
"I at least understood the basics of all the books we read." I told her, defending myself. But in my mind I reminisce those long nights were I would come home late from the hospital, only to have to do homework and plaster on a smile the next day. crying I would try to read the book, but it took too long and I was too exhausted from trying to thrive, not just survive. eventually I would resort to reading summaries online.