Caught in a love trap

chapter 14

I stared at Victor as he wiped his eyes. I felt so bad. I didnt know what to do so i just grabbed his face and smashed our lips together. I think i surprised him because he didnt do anything for a few seconds before our lips started to move in sync. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me deepening the kiss by slipping his tongue into my mouth. I moaned and let his tongue explore my mouth. 

After a while Victor pulled away smirking. 

"If you keep doing this to me, i wont be able to control myself anymore Yuri."

I blushed and looked away as Victor chuckled. He got up off of me and sat back in the chair next to the bed. I sat up and looked at him.

"Yuri, baby, will you tell me, what caused you to do this." He pointed to my wrist with the bandage wrapped on it.

I looked away and swallowed. I didnt want to say because i felt like Victor would leave me. He would think im disgusted.

"Was it me? Did i cause this?" I looked straight at him shocked as he said this. How could he say that? 

"Victor! No! It wasn't you. I just.... I'm scared to tell you. What if you get disgusted of me?" i felt the tears threatening to pour out of my eyes. just the thought of victor not wanting me was painful.

"Yuri. Don't and i mean don't ever say that i will be disgusted of you or that i wont want you. If you ever even think something like that again, i will punish you. You are beautiful yuri, nothing will ever make think youre disgusting. I will never leave you. Baby, I love you too much to do that." 

Ever had one of those times where you really hate life and just want to die, but then someone comes in and says something that makes everything in your life light up, well that's me right now. 

"Victor.... If only you knew..." I looked down at my wrist. This wasnt the first ive done this. its just been the first time ive done this in years. i have so many scars. im surprised Victor hasnt asked about them. Maybe he's waiting for me tell him.

Victors hand lifted my chin so i would meet his gaze. His eyes were full of love. It was something ive wanted from someone my whole life.

"Baby, thats why I want you tell me. Tell me so you can get it out of you. Dont keeping holding it in. Tell me, show do what ever it is that you need to do for me to know you have done this to yourself. And i know you've done this to yourself more than once. I've seen the scars baby. i've seen your whole body." He smiled at me slightly to show that he really wanted to know to help me.

"Well...... I'd have to tell you my whole life and i don't-"

"I want to know everything about you baby. Everything. Don't leave out a single detail." His hand caressed my cheek as he smiled. This man is my only happiness. I know things have moved fast between us, buts that's only because he showed me what ive wanted my whole life. Love.

"Ok well, I can't remember my first six years. So i can't tell about them. but um when i was seven, my dad had my mother take me back. I guess it was because he didnt have time for me. I mean he's a really busy man so that makes sense. and my parents are divorced so yeah. but anyways, My mom was extremely abusive. She...... She would hit me everyday and tell me that i was a mistake. That i dont have the right to live. I dont deserve anything. And then there was her boyfriends. she had many of them. Five of them, they.......they.......th-they......." I threw my head in my hands and sobbed hard. i couldnt tell Victor. I just couldnt. I felt his hand on my back rubbing it to calm me down. 

"Yuri, baby, i know it's hard but you need to tell me please." His tone was soft and it had alot caring in it.

"They raped me! They tied me up! they forced me! i screamed, i cried and i yelled for help! no one heard me..... no would listen.... no one would believe me..... No came to save me!!!!" I was now having a panic attack. I felt like i couldnt breath. I was panicing. I felt someones hand on my shoulders. they were trying to get my attention.

"Don't touch me! LET ME GO! HELP ME!" I didn't look to see who it was touching me. I thrashed out Kicked at who ever it was. 

"Yuri!! It's me!! Calm down!! Im right here. It's ok no one is going to hurt you." The person was very strong. they had me in there lap and i just curled into a ball and sobbed.

"Ssshhh. It's ok baby. Its me Victor. It's ok." 

I looked up slowly and met Victors eyes. He looked so worried. he kissed my forehead and we just sat there on the floor like that for an hour an as he rocked me in his lap. i had my arms wrapped around my knees with them pulled close to my chest. My head was layed against his chest and i listened to his steady heartbeat. I eventually fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.