Eyes of the soul

Chapter 15

   As we left the atmosphere I looked down at arwen, who lay sleeping in my arms. Tears filled my eyes knowing she would never see her real parents again. I couldn't hold it in as I started to cry.
     "Serissa?" Jim asked worried. I didn't answer. I couldn't. I heard shuffling and footsteps. I looked up and saw Spock standing by me. He offered so take arwen so I could calm down. I nodded softly and he gently took the baby girl. I sniffled and sobbed, trying to calm down. Spock had moved to the back of the shuttle. "Serissa look" jim whispered.
       I sniffled and looked to the back of the shuttle. My eyes widened seeing Spock, holding arwen and bouncing her gently. He had his eyes closed. My heart melted at the scene. Once I calmed down, i got up and walked over to Spock. He looked to me and I smiled softly.
     "You'd make an amazing father, commander" I said softly so I didn't wake her. I took her gently and the scene of him and uhura kissing came to mind. I frowned and looked to him. "Im...im sure lieutenant uhura will be happy with that..."
      I looked away and walked back to my seat and sat there holding the baby. I could feel their stares but I ignored them. I closed my eyes and fell asleep holding arwen.
     I woke up to someone carrying me. I glanced up to see Spock carrying me. My heart clenched and I closed my eyes tight. I was laid on a bed and heard Arwen crying. I opened my eyes and tried to sit up.
      "Doctor McCoy is taking care of her. He's making sure she is well" Spock said sitting beside me.
    I looked to him and then away. I continued to try and sit up, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I looked to Spock. "I need to go to her"
   "You need to rest" he said and gently pushed me till I was laying down. I sighed and turned over so my back was to him. "Serissa.."
    My eyes widened slightly. He's said my name a few times but...the way he said it this time shocked me. "Yes commander?" I asked calmly.
    "The statement you said on the shuttle, Between lieutenant uhura and myself. What did you mean?" He asked. I could feel his eyes on the back of my head.
    "I know you and uhura are together, I saw you two kissing. I know she loves you and it's obvious you love her. If you two ever have a kid, she would be happy to know you'd be a wonderful father" I said as smoothly as i could. My heart was shattering in my chest and I struggled to hold in the tears. I managed to hold in the tears. "You should go to her. She's probably worried"
   I managed to get up without him stopping me. I moved away from the bed and over to where bones and arwen were. I picked her up gently and held her close, bouncing her softly.
    After a while she slowly fell asleep. I smiled softly and gently laid her in the little crib. I sat in the chair and watched her silently. She was the only thing I was being strong for.
~~~~~~~~~~~
     Its been a few months since the incident. Raising arwen alone had been difficult. Because of my duties I often had to ask someone to watch over her. Most of the time I had to take the time off cause no one could. Eventually Jim just told me to focus on arwen and that he wouldn't take it away from my pay. I thanked him and focused on raising arwen.
    I was sitting in my cabin holding baby arwen. I was in a white, long sleeve dress and had my hair down. It had gotten longer since I boarded the enterprise and didn't bother cutting it.
    I looked up when I heard a knock on the door. "It's open" I said. I looked to arwen and smiled softly. I looked up again when I heard the door open and my eyes widened slightly, seeing spock. "Commander? What brings you here?"
     "Mot't will you walk with me to the observation deck?" He asked. I was confused why he would come ask me to walk with him. I nodded anyway and stood. I laid the sleeping arwen in the crib and walked to him.
    I followed him out of my cabin and walked with him down the hall. "How is arwen?" He asked
   I looked to him and then forward again. "She's well. She's growing well and healthy"
    "Is it....difficult?" He asked. "Raising her alone?"
   I looked up at him confused. 'Why is he asking this?' I thought. "Yeah...it is. It's difficult to get enough sleep, to constantly have to be awake but....its worth it" she said smiling softly.
    The doors to the observation deck opened as they approached. They walked into the glass dome room and looked out to the stars.
   After a few minutes of silence, Spock spoke. "It isn't true" he said out of nowhere.
     I looked to him confused. "What?" I asked. He didn't look at me as he spoke.
    "The rumor between lieutenant uhura and I. We are not as you say, a couple" he said. I listened wide eyed. He looked to me and my eyes widened even more. His eyes were just like when I first met him. The Vulcan coldness was gone. It was replaced with emotions that I couldn't identify.
     "Your not full vulcan"