Eyes of the soul

Chapter 17

     'Serissa wake up!'
     I gasped and sat straight. I panted hard and saw mera holding arwen. "Are you okay? I've been trying to wake you for like two hours now!" She exclaimed
     I looked confused and tried to think. I moved the blanket and looked at my stomach. 'It was all a dream?...'
    My eyes filled with tears and I hugged my knees. 'So....all of it wasnt real?....that means Spock and I arent....'
     "Sera what's wrong?" Mera asked worried.
     I started to explain everything that happened in the dream. It made my heart hurt.
     "Oh...sera im sure he likes you back. He treats you nicer than everyone else" mera said. I nodded lightly and gently took arwen. "Hey, I have the day off today if you want me to look after her I can."
     "No it's okay, you should go hang out with your boyfriend" I said and moved to stand. I carried arwen over to the cabinet and started making the formula mix.
      "Are you sure?" Mera asked worried. She always worried for me.
      "Im sure mera, you and him need your time together" I said and looked to her smiling softly. I started feeding arwen, swaying slowly.
     "Okay ser, just call if you need help okay?" She asked, the worried look never leaving her face.
    "I promise I will" I said smiling. She nodded lightly and left, leaving only me and arwen. I sniffled and let the tears I'd been holding flow.
      'Why? Why did it have to just be a dream?' I thought. I laid arwen down and sat on my bed crying. 'I'm no use here on the ship anymore.... maybe I should go back to earth....i wouldn't have to deal with the pain of knowing Spock and uhura are...... stop serissa! This isn't good for you or arwen! You need to forget about Spock and focus on raising her. The next port we stop at I'll leave and take a shuttle home.' I thought to myself and nodded as if in agreement. I stood and picked up arwen gently.
       I left my cabin and started walking to the bridge to inform the captain. I entered the elevator and pressed the button for the bridge. The doors started to close but a hand stopped them.
      I looked to see spock and my heart clenched. "Mot't" he greeted as he stepped in.
      "Commander" I said in greeting and stepped away from him. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
     "What is your business on the bridge mot't?" He asked. The one question I hoped he wouldn't ask.
     "I am going to inform the captain that I wish to depart the ship at our next port. I am no use to the ship while taking care or arwen and this I no place for her to grow up. So I will take her back to earth and raise her there" I said as emotionless as I could.
     I could feel his eyes watching me. I forced myself not to look at him, to not cry or to blurt out everything I felt towards him.
     "Well... that is a logical idea" he said and looked away.
     "Indeed" I said and stayed quiet. Arwen started to cry as the elevator moved. "Shh shh" I cooed and rocks her gently.
     "What about mera? Will you miss her wedding?" He asked. My eyes widened.
     "Wedding?" I asked confused and shocked.
      "Yes, her partner approached me in regards of how to propose" he said. I almost laughed but held it back. "He proposed to her only half an hour ago"
     'Right after I told her to go to him' I thought and smiled sadly.
     "Im happy that she is to get married but unfortunately I will possibly miss the wedding" I said and kept rocking and bouncing arwen.
    "It's a shame" he said and glanced towards me. I refused to look at him.
     "Indeed, I will try to stay but the possibilities are slim" I said. My heart was clenching in my chest as I tried not to cry. The doors to the elevator opened and Spock stepped out.
      "Permission to enter the bridge, captain" Spock said.
       "Permission granted" Jim said and turned around in his chair. He smiled brightly and got up, walking over to me. "Hey sera, something you need?" He asked.
      I looked to him and nodded. "I wish to be relieved of duty captain. I want to take arwen back to earth to raise her. This is not a safe place to raise her when there is a risk of attack at every move" I said seriously.
    "Sera? Are you serious?" Jim asked shocked. "You worked so hard to get here, this is the safest ship in the fleet"
      "Captain I am 100% serious. I wish to be relieved of duties for the safety of arwen" I said. Everyone was watching me, except Spock. His back was turned and his head was down.
     "I....okay sera... I relieve you" he said sadly. I looked up to him and used my free arm to hug him.
      "Thank you jim" I said softly. I felt him hug back and slowly pulled away. I turned and walked back to the elevator. I got in and turned to see everyone watching me except...... Spock.