The Adventures of Batmom

The Case of the Urie Obsessed Teen

My daughter is obsessed with Brendon Urie. She will literally just walk around, like a zombie, muttering about Brendon Urie. I would be concerned, but I was about the same with Kurt Cobain at her age. Plus, it's just too funny.

Faith: -Sprints up the stairs- "Mom!"

Me: "What?"

Faith: "Brendon Urie is -insert random action here-."

Me: "So?"

Faith: "MOM!"

Me: "WHAT!?"

Faith: "Brendon Urie."

Me: "Shush."

Faith: "Mom!"

Me: -disgruntled voice- "What!? I'm trying to read!"

Faith: "Brendon Urie!"

Me: -tries not to strangle her-

Faith: "Mom!"

Me: "If you say Brendon Urie one more time!"

Faith: -quiet for a second- "Beebo!"

Me: -Ultimate facepalm-

Faith: -Trips as she sprints down the stairs, laughing-

₩₩₩₩₩ Later That Week or Day

Faith: -Yells from her room randomly, "BEEBO!"-

Me: "Stop it!"

Faith: -comes from her room of solitude into my mom cave- "Brendon's forehead."

Me: "You mean fivehead?"

Faith: "Oh my God, mom! You're so mean!" -storms back to her room-

Husband: -looks at me- "You know you think he's attractive."

Me: "I do, but still doesn't change the fact that we could watch movies on his forehead." -shrugs and goes back to my video game-

Faith: -from her room, laughs then calls me mean again-

₩₩₩₩₩ Another random time

Faith: -Runs up the stairs and falls-

Me: -laughs until I'm crying-

Faith: "Beebo! Look!" -shows me a random picture of him on her phone-

Patrick: -pokes his head around the corner- "Beebo Died!" -laughs evilly-

For the record, I do not know why he thought that, but it was enough to make my teenage daughter freak out and go into shrill voice mode as she stuck her phone to her face to see if it was true. Obviously it wasn't.

₩₩₩₩₩

Faith: -on her phone- "Mom, can I meet Beebo?"

Me: "Sure, when I meet Johnny Depp and Jack Septiceye."

Faith: "I'm serious!"

Me: "So am I!"

Faith: "God, there's no reasoning with you!" -storms down to her room-

₩₩₩₩₩

Me: -writing-

Faith: -comes up, it's a rare Faith sighting- "Mom! I want to meet Brendon Urie!"

Me: "This again?" -still writing- "Look, he's too old for you and he's married!"

Faith: -remains quiet- "But, Beebo." -sulks off-

I have to wonder why it was left just hanging there. Is she planning on trying to win him over with her randomness? Or perhaps she just wants an autograph and a hug. Either way, I think that Beebo should stay far far away.