One Shots

roast session | quavo

for @queen-angelita hope u like it hunny 💕

"Angelita come on, it ain't even all that serious." You were getting ready to meet Quavo's cousin and nephew for the first time and you wanted to look good.

"Uh uh, I'm tryna look good." You put on a layer of clear lip gloss and popped your lips in the mirror.

He raised his eyebrows. "Look good fa what? You mine, the fuck?" He walked over to you and wrapped your arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. You pushed him off of your blue jean shirt and grabbed your keys.

"It's called a first impression Qua. Usually people try to look good on the first day or the first date or the first of something so they can appear to be...hmm what's the word?" You tapped your chin and looked at him.

"Shit you lost me at damn improvise." He shrugged and kissed your cheek before laughing.

"Impression you idiot." You chuckled and picked up your red MCM purse that you had gotten recently. You spent a pretty penny on it so you wore it and flaunted it off all the time.

"But whatever, fuck allat shit. These my brothers ya head me and you don't gotta look all nice fa them. It really would've been coo if you put on some basketball shorts and a shirt. They don't care." He got in your Mercedes and buckled up. You put the keys in his lap before walking on the other side and getting in.

"Basketball shorts don't even look right on me, and you know that." You looked at him. He looked you up and down then stifled a laugh. "What?"

"That don't look right on you but you still wearing it. Talkin bout a 'first impression' girl you done wore that same outfit on the day we first saw each other, our first date, shit, even the first time I met your family!" He tried to roast you but it wasn't funny. Your outfit was new and fresh out the closet. A white off the shoulder shirt with army green skinny jeans. He was hating because you had got the jeans for $7.50 from Old Navy.

"Yo uglyass always tryna joan and shit, I'm finna light yo ass up." You said while cracking your knuckles. You popped your neck bones before pointing at him in the 'boy' hand movement. "I'm finna bake."

"Nah, nah, I'm finna bake." He pointed at you before he pulled into the driveway. The house was big and nice. All brick, fountain in the side corner, you could even see a basketball goal in the back.

"Qua!" You saw his cousin, Kiari, come from by the garden in the front to the car. He looked like somebody auntie with the sunglasses and worn out jeans he had on. "Aww this Angelita? Too cute."

"Buddyyy, I'm finna bake." Quavo said before dapping him up. You laughed as he dapped you up as well.

"Aw wait, don't I follow you on the gram?" You furrowed your eyebrows. You knew of him but you never talked to him and certainly never gave him your Instagram. "Yeah here it is. Angelitahuncho underscore two times." He read your username out loud before both of you laughed.

You laughed because it was weird hearing your social media name read out loud but he was laughing for a totally different reason.

"First impression my ass, I knew I saw you in that outfit." Quavo took the phone from him and held up a picture of you from your Instagram in an outfit very similar to the one you had on. The only difference was the bags and the way you had your hair.

"Oh...wow." You nervously chuckled. You hadn't realized you wore that outfit so many times. You weren't good at matching or at making outfits so you usually just made a few at a time and wore it three times before it got old. Now was your third time wearing that outfit.

"Wow face ass, I'm finna jank ha ass." You looked up and saw Quavo's nephew, Kirsh. His dreads were down his back and he had on a UK shirt.

"Ew nigga what the fuck?" Kiari asked while looking down at his shirt. "I'm finna bake yo ass now buddy."

"Nah, nah, don't even get me started on you wit auntie jeans and sunglasses on, wassup lil shawty, I've seen you before haven't I?" He asked and they all started laughing.

"You seen that damn outfit before, she wear it everywhere." Qua said while laughing. You leaned against the car and crossed your arms. You looked mad but you were actually pretty chill about the whole thing.

"Hell nah she finna use all the strength from her forehead and headbutt the fuck outta yall." Kiari said. "Shawty I'm on yo team." You let out a soft chuckle then rubbed your forehead. If was average sized, but niggas always have something to say about everything.

"Can we go in? It's hot as hell." You sighed and looked at all three boys.

"It's only hot cause you got them hot ass jeans on. Could've switched up the outfit wit some shorts." Kirsh shrugged. You stuck your middle finger up at him then walked past them into the house.

"Aww y'all done made my lil baby mad." Qua came in the house after you and pulled you on his lap once he sat on the couch. "It's okay mama." He kissed your neck.

"Move around damn, yo hot breath ass makin me hotter." You pushed his head away from your neck while his 'brothers' laughed.

"I know his breath hot as hell. Nigga breath been like that since the sandbox." Kiari said while we all laughed.

"Hot? I don't know bout allat, but I do know it's funky as hell." Kirsh said. You had to hold your stomach because you were laughing so hard.

"Aw fuck no. Y'all tryna have a roast session and shit, lemme light the blunt first." Qua rolled the blunt on your lap then held the flame over the middle part so the weed could stay fit.

"Roast session huh, bet." You said while rubbing your hands together.

"Uglyass, she gettin prepared for her first victim, I'm finna bake ha!" Kiari yelled, making everyone laugh.

"Today finna be a good day." You said to yourself with a smile.

"Ice Cube face ass. You actually look like Felicia from Friday." Quavo said while tucking the blunt in his pocket.

"And it actually look like you ain't gettin no head tonight." You chuckled while the other two boys laughed.

"Ight baby chill out now."