Don't Love Me √

Dreams and Nightmares

' " We're trying our best. We cannot assure but we are really trying." 

" Doctor please ! Please doctor! Doctor he's my last resort, my last station! Please doctor! Doctor, doctor... 

Doctor...

Doctor..." '

" Sir...sir!"

Vivaan slowly woke up and took some time to be extremely embarrassed to realise that he had dozed off in his cabin. 

Ram Prasad stood with a cup of coffee which he himself had ordered sometimes back, and then slept off. 

" ohh... I just ..." 

Ram prasad carefully placed the coffee on the table. And stood smiling. 

Vivaan looked at him through the corner of his eyes. And then began concentrating on his laptop. But in vain. 

" ...do you have some issue? "

Vivaan asked, irritated. 

" ...ehh... Sir, I just wanted to thank you. My daughter scored an 86% in boards. Hadn't you forced me for her studies, and arranged for tutors, we would have done nothing for her sir...we are so thankful to you sir..." , Ram Prasad's voice choked as he ran down to catch his feet. Vivaan springed up and held him. 

" What are you doing? There's a limit to everything."

Vivaan's voice sounded so emotionless that Ram Prasad felt a lot shaky now at his sudden outburst. He stood for a moment, and then slowly put a box full of sweets on the table. 

Vivaan had by then returned to work. He though looked at the box for a split second. 

" I don't need all these bhaiyaa. My request will only be that you either yourself teach your younger daughter too, or bring her to me. And with this girl, don't now stop her that she's finished boards. She's got a lot more to do. And I'm here if needed. Take away the sweets. "

Ram prasad nodded and slowly but unwillingly took away the box. Just as he was about to leave, he heard a voice, " keep one beside the coffee cup. " 

Ram Prasad smiled. He had known this man quite well now. The only man in the whole office who called him bhaiyaa. Yet the only man in the whole office maybe, who wouldn't even nod his head when greeted a good morning. The only man who would never satisfy him with a 20 rupees note, yet the only man who would bear the whole expense of his daughter's study. A living oxymoron, that's what this man was .

It was hard to love him, and yet the easiest.

Vivaan stood for a long time at the immense windows to his cabin, watching the sun drown in the sea. The sun and the sea had such unsaid connections, no matter what , the sun had to drown in the sea, everyday, despite everything. 

Vivaan hated the visuals he usually had whenever he dozed off in the afternoon. So much so that, as much as he could, he kept working. Nights had only recently got rid of nightmares. But the afternoons... 

Maybe his nights had been through so much that they had become immune too. Of hurt. Of pain. It's okay, dude! Keep calm. Take it easy. Don't cry. Don't love.

Vivaan sometimes felt that his nights themselves had now not known as to which nightmare exactly could hurt him the most. His brain might have got tired in deciding, which loss exactly could make Vivaan weak enough. Just his heart smiled in silence. Supprting him. Pillaring him. None man! We remember nothing. We feel nothing any longer. 

" Raahon ne hain jo kaanch bichhaye

Payron ne hain ye zakhm jo paaye

Abb toh lage ye dard hi marham sa!

Mere bina tu chale

Tere bina main chaloon, 

Toote kinaaron pe.

Kahe ye sarfaroshi abb toh bagawatein hain

Jhoothe dilaason se! 

Aaj rajj ke mainu chaahe rula

Aaj rajj ke mainu de de sazaa

Aaj rajj ke dil sehne lagaa, 

Dard bedardaa!! " 

******

Raajiv didn't know where to hide. He absolutely felt Riha's frowning eyes fixed on him in utter disgust. And he felt really ashamed of everything now. 

What a blunder! He should have understood this. History did not necessarily always repeat itself. Because Riha and Suhaana were two extremely different individuals. 

And most importantly, the Vivaan today wasn't the Vivaan ten years back. Surprisingly enough, neither was Raajiv himself. 

" ...I am...sorry Riha...", he mustered some courage somehow. 

" You just shut up! " , another blow. He's being constantly blown away for the last half an hour. 

Things were crystal clear. Riha didn't love him and he could even bear with that. Until, she remained in his life. And so he wanted to hit himself like hell. What exactly was the problem with the things that were going on? Nothing at all! Maybe just that he had some hope at one corner of his heart, which he won't have any longer. Maybe that was good though... but the worse thing that happened was...

" And that man! Why the f**k is he so weird? " 

...exactly this. 

For the last half an hour, after every blow she gave to him, came the talk of Vivaan. 

A thing to be afraid of. 

" Riha... I'm sorry to have hurt you. I always knew you consider me just a friend,  but like every other idiot in love, I just wanted to know by any chance if you..." 

" Do you want me to slap you? "

" As long as our friendship is intact, I won't mind anything! Please forgive me. " 

Riha's frown slowly change into a smile. 

" Okay forgiven. But why do you have such weird friends? Do you even know what he did? He..." 

"...he drank your glass of water. This is the eighth time. " 

" ...huh! Weird people. " 

Raajiv kept staring at her. Why the hell did he even ask that guy to keep a long lost promise? He might have just digged a grave, not for himself because Riha was easy to handle, but for Riha,because 'that weird guy' was not at all easy to handle. Not at all.

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Picture edit credit : Uploader