Don't Love Me √

Ishq Mubaarak

Three months later

Life was difficult. And would always remain so. 

Vivaan stared at his image in the mirror. The devastating three months have made him leaner and planted a forest on his chin. 

Vivaan stared for a long time now, and he realised how irritated he was with himself. He caught hold of a vase beside him and threw it to the mirror. It broke into pieces, as if breaking his image. 

Vivaan lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. For the last three months, whenever he shut his eyes, a beautiful face with tears stared back at him, making him open his eyes immediately. 

Never in world had he felt so much helpless, not even after so many deaths he had seen! But what could he do? He couldn't see another death happening. That too, hers. He wanted to smash off everything around. 

It was 4 in the afternoon when the doorbell rang. 

Very reluctantly he had opened the door to hold his breath for a million seconds. 

Riha stood, with her ever healing smile. Vivaan couldn't smile, he only wanted to cry. Riha looked more beautiful than before, a bit overtly decorated it seemed. Anyways Riha herself pushed the door and got inside. Vivaan couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. He just wanted to hug her tight and say..." I'm sorry Riha! " , but he absolutely did nothing at all.

Riha looked around the house and then to him. " What the f**k happened to this house? Where is its tip top??! What the f**k even happened to its owner?  "  , Riha went forward and caressed his beard. Vivaan wanted to cry holding her now, but .. 

" Three months and so much Vivaan? " , Riha laughed. 

" Anyways yes, a lot happen in three months. " , Riha slowly took out a card from her handbag. And extended it to Vivaan. Vivaan's brows came closer, and an unknown fear gripped him from every side. 

" I'm getting married in twenty days. I wish you to be my guest. " , Riha smiled. The smile that hid a lot.

Vivaan's eyes widened. He horrifiedly stared at Riha. No...no she couldn't do this. Not at all!!! She couldn't snatch away his last resort, his last station! 

Vivaan didn't take the card, and quickly took a position near the window. He was panting, his eyes watering. 

Riha slowly walked to him, and stood beside the window. 

" You must be so happy Vivaan! I thought you would treat me with your coffee after this! Riha has decided to move on from you permanently, just like Shruti did, just like how many others I don't even know did... 

Useless and baseless emotions of life, which hold no value in your life, they have all decided to get you rid of everything Vivaan. You should be happy! " 

Riha's eyes watered but she very carefully wiped them off.

Vivaan could say nothing, as usual. He felt a thumping inside. No Riha...you ain't anyone else to me... 

Riha spoke again, " How are you Vivaan? " 

Vivaan took a deep breath. " Fine." , he uttered with effort.

" Strange right? How some people spend their lives only by staying fine! They don't even care to stay happy..." , Riha stopped and then added, " ...anyways, you were still fine... and I...was dying. " 

Vivaan immediately looked at Riha. A helplessness ate him off as he wanted to hug her tight and wipe off her tears, but his hands won't move.  

" Anyways, won't waste your time much. I am on my way to the airport, for the last bachelor trip of my life to London. A ten days tour, alone. " , Riha smiled again.

" You must be surprised though, that the Riha who wasn't even much ready to cross lines for a relationship , is getting arranged- married, at the age of twenty five only. 

Honestly, I too was a bit surprised when I said yes. I don't really know, maybe the decision was a mixture of sadness, anger, parent's concerns about my worsening mental health, and also just a desire to see your face in the name of handing the card, and your reaction to it. " 

Vivaan stood and scratched the window pane vigorously. But he couldn't just speak out, no Riha...don't do this. He could feel the turbulence in him. 

" I know you would say nothing. But I had to see your eyes. And I did. Vivaan, if your loving someone can kill...your not loving someone is more devastating. It kills the person while alive. " 

Vivaan's world shattered in split seconds. He just felt like he would faint. 

" And even if love kills, remember, the one who truly loves you, can die for you too...

Twenty days more to go Vivaan, if you can, save Riha from another death... Lest I am afraid you will remain guilty of that again throughout your life..." 

Riha left. 

Vivaan broke down on his knees, and wailed, for the first time...

" Rihaaa... I love you too...!!!!"

****

Raajiv looked at the watch. " Her flight was at seven fifteen... Idiot. " 

Vivaan sat with his hands cupping his face. 

" I have never ever seen such an idiot like you Vivaan! How long, how long will you let your past seal your lips Vivaan? " 

Vivaan fell back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. 

" Vivaan, no one can love you the way she does. And if she has chosen you, there must be the best reason behind that! ! Now

she's decided to lead a loveless life with someone else, as a punishment to herself for loving you, and a punishment to you for not loving her back..." 

Vivaan closed his eyes. " I... love her Raajiv. " 

" And yet you'll sit here while she'll get married to someone else. Shame on you man! If you believe that you have been killing people, it's time to put an end to it. 

Riha would slowly die without Vivaan, not because you pretend to not love her back, but in the guilt of not being able to heal you despite trying to. " 

Vivaan had by then started walking to and fro in his room. He suddenly stopped, walked up to Raajiv and hugged him tight, and whispered in his ears..." as long as Vivaan is alive, Riha cannot die. "

A smile crossed Raajiv's face. 

Vivaan's stern face grew sterner. " Raajiv, book me tomorrow's earliest flight to London. I'll propose to her there, and bring her back along. " 

Raajiv had never seen Vivaan so confident about this one thing, love! 

" Don't think I'm doing this to shake her off some guilt. I'm only doing this because I'm selfish, and I cannot see Riha with someone else. Never ever. " 

Raajiv's eyes filled with tears. He held Vivaan's hand, " Thank you Vivaan. " 

****** 

That night around eight, the whole of Mumbai knew Vivaan was in love, as he blew his Royal Enfield in lightening speed through the streets. Never had he felt the breeze cooler and the world more beautiful. " Rihaaa...the most beautiful girl of my life, I'm coming! I'll ask you out to come along, to my home, to my world, and grow old together! I can't wait to see the blush on your face when I would sit on my knees, hold out a red rose to you and say...' I looovee yoouu RIHAAA! ' You were right, my love cannot only kill. My love can make myself alive. Riha, if love can kill, 'no love' does too. I've known that in three months. I cannot afford to lose you. Not at any cost. Thanks for stepping into my life Riha,  I'm coming to complete our story. " 

The moon across Mumbai sky, smiled a sigh of relief.

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