Childfree - A handbook for the curious

Not A Decision To Be Taken Lightly

As I previously said, I respect the fact that humans are supposed to procreate, and for those who pursue it the joys of motherhood can be a fulfilling thing. In fact motherhood is pretty much tied to the ideal that is womanhood. Hence the reason why when you utter the words "I am not having kids" it is seen as the ultimate betrayal of you sex. You will be judged, whether you like it or not, in public and in private. And yes we know the decision is yours and not for anyone else, but you have to be mentally prepared for that judgement.

Another thing you have to consider is this decision will affect the rest of your life. In your later years when others are talking about their children's accomplishments and start looking forward to having grand kids, you will not. It is at this point that you may begin to question your life choices. It is at this point you may experience such intense regret that it begins to affect your relationship with your partner. It is at this point when it will be too late. This has the potential to haunt you in your later days.

I encourage you to think about your decision carefully, even give yourself five year plan to review your plan. You may not want kids at twenty-five but find at thirty you have changed your mind, at the crucial age of thirty-five ask yourself if this is what you still want. I know it will be argued that women are having kids older, but I will remind you that it is also very risky. I encourage you to do the research, get the facts, question people who have kids as well as those who don't. Make sure that you are making an informed decision, as well as the right decision for you. Remember this is no one's journey but yours and you partner's. Also, it is wise to have a partner that's on the same page as you, let your partner know up front. It wouldn't be fair to string your partner along, knowing that you don't believe in having children. I know I definitely wouldn't be married to my husband if he felt differently. It is something we discussed before we were married and even gave ourselves the option of checking in with each other to ensure we were always on the same page.