Chapter 8

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Gisa POV

At first, all Lacey wants is me to accompany her when Tramy can't. It's difficult to separate her tasks from mere socializing: I think she doesn't want me to know about her work as I'm not a Scarlet Guard member, and I still don't intend to become one. Yet the same is true for every Silver I know apart from her. Cal, Julian, Sara, they all seek only their own benefits. Cameron's told me as much though she wavers on Sara's wishes. She mentioned Sara's help in training her which comes close to praising for Cameron. Now the skinhealer is in Corvium along with Mare and Cal while Mr. Jacos sits between his papers, beakers and bulbs.

Lacey visits him frequently when she has me come along. I was curious the first time, but I learned it's more small talk between them, mostly old stories with Queen Elara being blamed. Apparently, Lacey's mother was a Merandus but her own family abused her at a young age, and hurt her too deeply to heal. It left Lacey with an enduring hatred for her own kind. She doesn't say this to Mr. Jacos but her words are lined with judgement and guilt.

What I don't find out is whether Mr. Jacos prefers to remain ignorant or takes her insights to heart. I suspect she doesn't really care either. She's dissembling, wanting to keep him talking and having access to him - and his studies.

Julian Jacos likes to drone about his projects even more, to her rejoice. Though his reports aren't very detailed, as I manage to understand them as well, thus I suppose it's not enough for Lacey. She might've known these things from an early age while they just help me to patch up questions I've had for some time. But she keeps on smiling, to everyone she meets, and I play along, versed in this game as well. Yet I remember her expression, it's same one she wore when I thought her to be a vain and air-headed rich Silver, a girl to be dismissed.

"Actually, Mr. Jacos is not as ignorant as you may think he is," Lacey says to me when we leave the part of the archives he's working at. "He usually prefers to be the enlightened one himself, who sees through our games and facades. Now he would've to agree with me instead, in the presence of a Red like you, and he'd rather argue with me but can't."

She glances at me and I meet her eyes. I wish she'd just go on, not play with me.

"It unsettles him," she adds after the unnecessary pause. "Makes him wish to change the topic so he can prattle. Until he lets something slip."

She looks proud of herself and it's my turn to be silent and let her wonder. Seconds drag by.

"I thought about our earlier conversation, Ms. Ventos," I say eventually. "About how I feel uncomfortable to be your ... friend." I take a breath until I have her full attention. Even though I've earned as much, her humbleness is hardly satisfying to me. "When you were the lady and I was the servant, I was always afraid, of every step and stich I made. I could barely trust my mistress, Ms. Hadley, though she never punished me for real. But I could've lost my appreticeship at any time, if I wasn't good, talented, or diligent enough. Or if I messed up with a customer - someone like you - and drew rumours on the shop and a bad reputation on me. I would've been banished from Summerton.

"So I had to be perfect and I was. With every praise I collected, my fears vanished and I could dream of a better life. But when you and your kind entered, my self-confidence was replaced by nervousness."

I'm good at keeping my tears at bay, I've been for a long time. "Ms. Barrow," Lacey says with strange compassion, but I'm not finished.

"You Silvers don't act logical, so what were my efforts worth? You could've gotten away with almost everything, if you wanted to damage me, and out of a whim. You had power over me, and I can't forget that. Nor can I trust you when wariness is what kept me alive".

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