For Love of Evil - [Roman Godfrey/Hemlock Grove]

-24-

Roman squeezed the girl's hips tightly, pushing them down onto his lap as she hovered above him; her breast bouncing lightly against his cheek in the front seat of his jaguar. Roman hadn't self mutilated in over a month, since before meeting Lyra - not one single cut on his pale flesh. The girl moaned softly, her hands tracking through his hair, grabbing large chunks.

He hated himself for what he was doing - fucking some girl from school he never took the time to actually get to know. Lyra's words repeated in his mind: "I think we should take a break. You know, see other people." He was doing just what she insisted.

Kimberly Welch, a cheerleader he had fucked a few times over the summer, now bobbed in his lap. The moans and gasps coming from her mouth annoyed him - only taunting the fact that she wasn't Lyra.

Lyra's moans of ecstasy were genuine, not like the ones coming from Kimberly - or as she liked to be called, "Kimmie." He recalled seeing her write her name on paper during class, dotting the "I's" with hearts.

Roman reached for the switchblade resting on the dashboard, pressing the indent on the side, making the blade spring out of the handle. He thought about dragging the sharp edge along the girl's tanned skin, but instead, slid it across his finger; watching the blood ooze out of the open wound he just inflicted. It didn't ease his self loathe - it didn't ease the frustration as to why Lyra didn't love him. Of course she didn't love him, no one could ever possibly love a monster such as himself.

Roman sucked the blood from his finger, the taste of metallic filling his mouth as the thought of pushing Kimberly off his lap and slitting his wrists came to mind.

He pictured her face as he did it - the shock and horror in her eyes as he bled to death. He wondered what Lyra would look like; if she'd regret her prior rejection of him. He nearly got off on the thought of Lyra's face; the tears streaming down her cheeks as she begged him to stop, asking him "why."

The thoughts were too distracting, causing Roman to push Kimberly off of him into the adjacent seat.

"What the fuck!" She yelled loudly in the small confines of the car. Roman ignored her, pulling up his pants before reaching for a cigarette. He placed the filter between his lips; blood trailing down his finger onto his wrist. They were parked under a streetlight, causing Kimberly to notice the blood as it moved down the length of his hand. "You're such a freak, you know that?"

Roman lit the tip of his cigarette, rolling down the window as smoke billowed around his face. "What does that say about you?" Roman retorted.

"Is that why Lyra broke up with you?" Kimberly spat bitterly, hooking her bra back on.

An anger exploded within Roman; one he had no control over. Without a second thought, Roman grabbed a hold of Kimberly's throat, his fingers pressing too hard into her soft flesh as she struggled to breathe. The whites of her eyes were already beginning to turn red as she tried pulling his hand away from her neck.

Roman pulled the cigarette away from his lips, staring into her terrified eyes. "Don't you ever talk about Lyra." He growled; his eyes wide, his chin jutting forward with a clenched jaw. "Do you understand me?" Roman licked his lips, letting go of Kimberly's throat with a push as he took a draw of his cigarette casually. "Get out." Roman spat, turning the key over in the ignition, causing the headlights to come on.

Kimberly stared at Roman bewildered, her brows narrowing as she gently rubbed where his hand had been. She could still feel the pain of his tight grasp around her neck. "Roman, p-p-please-"

"I said get out!" Roman yelled, leaning over the seat, jerking the handle to push the door open. Tears formed in her eyes as she gathered her clothes, pausing before stepping out of the vehicle.