Travelling in the sea // shawn mendes x reader

❝ the beginning ❞

    I am standing at the edge of the cruise ship, witnessing the dark blue waves crushing on it. My current emotions? I don't even know. I feel... I just feel empty... and tired for once again.
    It's the 4th time in a row that I find myself sleepless. To be honest, it doesn't impress me at all. Wild thoughts are running my mind and I can't escape from them. You might think that just because I'm on a cruise trip with Shawn, I should be happy but NO.
     While Shawn was on tour, I was stalking him to death. We are in relationship for 5 months now and at first I felt really lucky to be in relationship with my idol but turns out that it's not that simple.
     I can't see all these photos of him with beautiful, skinny girls; IM TRASH COMPARED TO THEM. I need to admit that I'm overzealous. But what gets me in tears every night is...

Shawn comes and hugs me from behind

S: Hey babe! he gives me a soft kiss on my neck
Y/N: Hey.
S: Why are you alone?
Y/N: I just like thinking...
S: Thinking about what?
Y/N: Different things...
S: Okay.

I'm making a step to leave but Shawn stops me by grabbing my wrist

S: What's wrong y/n?
I decide to stay silent trying to avoid eye contact
Shawn lifts my chin gently and looks me in the eyes.
I can't control myself. His hazel eyes make me fall in love with him even more.
Y/N: We need to talk about something.
S: What is it?
Y/N: Let's go to our cabin.
S: Sure!

We are heading to our cabin and Shawn sits on the bed

S: So?
Y/N: I saw some photos... that look so not right.
S: What photos?

I'm taking out my phone and show him

Y/N: Since when are you friends with my ex best friend?

It's a photo of Shawn and Alice (my ex best friend who was jealous of me for a reason) kissing his cheek, outside the tour bus.

Shawn just started laughing.
What's so funny?

Y/N: Why are you laughing?
S: For God's sake y/n...
Y/N: Can you just answer me?
S: What do you want me to say? She's just a fan.
Y/N: Fan? This is not a place where you commonly take photos with your fans.

Shawn remains silent

Y/N: Can you please explain me?
S: OKAY, we're friends!

My jaw literally dropps

Y/N: With Alice? You and the girl who hurt me are now friends? Since when?
S: I knew Alice before you. Her father was friends with mine and he was working at his company.
Y/N: Do you think that she's a good girl?
S: Yeah, I mean, to me is a great friend.
Y/N: Okay then. I'm sorry.

I'm moving to the bathroom

      I'm filled with disappointment. A voice inside me tells me that he's lying but why would he do that? I'm trying to forget but it's not easy, especially when it has to do with HER.
      A tear escaped and at that moment Shawn enters the room...

----------------------✧-----------------------

a/n: so this is the first part of the story, I know it's nothing special but the evolution of it will get much better. I hope you liked it this far :))))

[ I'll update it when I find time. ]

bye! ❦