Something Fairytale-ish

Something Snow White-ish

Once upon 1400 years ago, in the holy land of Arabia, there lived a lovely young girl named Noor. Noor was a devout Muslima, and she and her father were devout followers of the Ahlulbayt. They followed the holy prophet's way of life and ran an orphanage, and everyone knew that Noor and her father were some of the kindest, most compassionate people that ever lived, just like the Ahlulbayt.

Noor's dream was to take over the orphanage once her father grew too old. So, she spent all her time working at the orphanage, playing with the children, taking care of them, cooking their meals, cleaning the place, and so on. All the children loved her very much, and they would call her "ukhti," or "my sister".

Now, the orphanage that Noor and her father ran was located in a remote area, far from the main village. The only people that passed by were travellers, whom they always provided shelter for. Since the village was a long ways off, she and her father produced everything on their own; they had a large farm that was worked on by her father alone, and many livestock to which solely she tended to, work that only added to her seemingly never-ending list of chores. With all the work she had to do, it was only natural for Noor to be perpetually fatigued. So, whenever she could, she would take short naps in the shade under the surrounding palm trees.

One day, Noor felt particularly tired, so she decided to take a short nap. She laid down under the cool shade of the palm trees, her eyes fluttered to a close, and soon she fell into a deep slumber. She, with all her grace, elegance, and evident purity, looked like the Muslima version of Sleeping Beauty.

"Ukhti!" a few of the orphans girl cried. Noor didn't even flinch at the voices of the girls, she was sleeping so soundly. The girls immediately spotted Noor resting under the palm trees, and they closed in upon her. There were seven girls in all; Tabeebah, Abisah, Farah, Na'eesah, Mistaheeyah, U'tsah, and Nadreh. They gazed upon Noor's sleeping form in awe, their breath taken away by her beauty. Farah was the first to break the silence.

"Hey, why don't we decorate her?" she asked the others eagerly.

"Yeah, why don't we?" Nadreh said. The other girls mumbled words of assent, and they each began to pick up any fallen palm fronds that they could find. Once they had gathered enough, they arranged the palm fronds carefully around Noor, and when they finished, she appeared to be somewhat Egyptian goddess-like. The girls stood back to admire their work. Satisfied with what they had done, they ran away before Noor could wake up and scold them.

Not a while had passed before another person encountered Noor. The man was obviously a traveller that heiled from distant lands, for he was a tall blonde, blue-eyed, chain-mail clad, metal sword wielding, shield bearing, horse riding prince. He gazed upon the palm frond framed Noor, awestruck by her unearthly beauty. Sliding down slowly from his horse, the prince was fixated solely on Noor. He landed on the ground with a soft thump, and proceeded in getting closer to Noor's sleeping form. As soon as he reached the palm frond barrier - against - Non-muhrams, he dropped to his knees and drank in the sight of Noor's calm face. He dropped his head and began to slowly lower it towards Noor's face. He was now just inches away from meeting her lips with his own before the door of the orphanage opened and Noor's father walked out.

Warning: the following scene features Arab stereotypes that some audience members may easily be offended by. If you are one such audience member and are easily butthurt, then I suggest that you cover your ears and hum for the rest of this story. If you don't heed this warning and end up extremely offended, it's your own fault so deal with it. Thank you!

"YOU SON O ZA SISTER O ZA BROZZER OF A DONKEY!!! GET AVVAY FROM MY DAUGHTER, YOU ANIMAL!!! I VILL TEACH YOU ZA WRATH OF MY NA'AL just give me a second," Noor's father screamed in absolute fury. He pressed his middle finger and index finger against his thumb in an "ogfeeli" sign as he bent down to get his sandals.

The poor prince had peed his pants in absolute terror. Sure, he didn't understand a word Noor's father said (not because his accent was thick but because the prince was German so he didn't understand English), but the screaming was enough for him to get the idea.

At this time, Noor's father had successfully grabbed his sandal and was currently waiving it in the air as he charged towards the soon - to - be - dead Prince Deutch Dope. As soon as he reached the poor man, Noor's father proceeded to beat the living wurst out of him. (F.Y.I. the whole time this was happening, Noor was still sleeping peacefully as if nothing were happening).

After one last slap with the na'al, Noor's father summoned all of his remaining energy to kick the blonde bas--ket-ball! all the way back to Germany while screaming "go back to Deutschland, to your Deutch princess, in your Deutch fairy tale, you Deutch fool!"

The poor bruised corpse sailed across the continents and dimensions of reality (his loyal horse running after him) all the way to Germany, where he managed to land beside the casket of his true princess, Princess Snow White. Unfortunately, the na'al beating had taken its toll and the poor prince died beside the casket of his princess, who also died because her prince hadn't come to her in time to administer true love's kiss. Yay, they literally get to live happily ever after in jennah!

Meanwhile, back in Arabia, Noor had just woken up to a fuming father. After chewing her ear off about the dangers of falling asleep outside ("that man could've touched you, and then who would marry you?!" "But Babaaaa, no one comes by here, this area is so remote!"), Noor returned to her chores. Contrary to her father's claims, Noor did eventually get married, and she and her husband ran the orphanage together for the rest of their lives. Awwww!!! The end!