I don't believe in if anymore...

Chapter 8

I looked around at all the faces, stopping at Josh and Anthony. They were sitting next to each other on the two-seater. Anthony looked at me with raised eyebrows while Josh looked nervous. Judging their expressions, I still did not have my answer.

“This is not happening. It cannot be.” I heard that without it being said. Yip! It was Anthony… I’m supposed to feel hurt, right?

“How is this possible? I’ve known her for a long time and never got any signs.”

It still did not hurt and my wolf was still excited.

“Look at our mate! Go to him”

“I’m confused. How can you be happy when our mate is rejecting us?”

“It’s not him, silly. Turn to him.”

I turned to Josh and immediately I felt the sparks through the air. Looking into his eyes felt like nothing I have ever felt before. How was this possible? I felt drawn to both of them, but then the pull towards Josh was much stronger.

“Zee, I know this is confusing and I would like to explain.” Josh was talking to me as if I was a small child.

“Please do, because this is ridiculous.” Anthony was really not sounding happy.

“She is a special kind of she wolf. And right now all unmated males who are not family will feel drawn to her, especially Alphas. Can you feel that?” He turned to Anthony while talking. Anthony nodded.

“I am not special. I am just a boring, normal person who happened to shift.” They both turned back to me.

“You shifted early and before you shifted you had odd symptoms.” Josh asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yes, but that does not make me special.”

“Zee, why don’t you have a seat and we can talk about this. There are some things we need to explain to you.”

“Do I have to sit, Dad?”

“This could take a while, but you can sit whenever you feel the need. First of all, you are special.”

“Dad, really? How can I be special? I would know if I was.”

“Let us start at the first time…”

“First time for what?” This was starting to freak me out. What was Dad on about?”

“The first time we realised you were not normal.”

“Marco! She was different, but always normal.” Dad sounds angry.

“Sorry, Dad.” He looked back at me, “the first time we realised you were different.”

“Dad, what do you mean when you say I’ve been normal?”

“You have always been a normal child. Playing normal games, wanting more to eat than a human child and having normal emotions. You got angry when provoked. You got sad when you lost something and you fell in love,” I glanced at Anthony very quickly.

“OK. Then what makes me different?”

“The way you cannot remember when something bad has happened.” With a frown I look towards Marco.

“What do you mean, Marcus?”

“You remember the day this happened?” He asked, raising his gloved hand.

“No?” I tried hard to think what he was on about, but could not. I shook my head slowly.

Hearing the story about the day his hand turned black I gasped. “It was me?”

“Yes, but that’s not all. Every time your eyes started glowing seem to evade your memory.”

“What? This happened more?”

“No. This was the only time you hurt someone.”

“I did not mean to.”

“I know that, Zee and I have forgiven you a long time ago.”

Next Dad started talking. “Do you remember when Alpha Rock came to our old house?”

“Yes. He came to wish us luck with our move.”

“Not really. He came over to tell us we had to move. You heard him and got angry. You started arguing with him and when I told you to go to your room, you just glared at him. When your eyes started glowing, he said we had no choice. I don’t know what would have happened if you did not turn around and walked away.”

“It’s my fault we moved? My fault we had to leave all our friends behind?” I could hear the pain in my voice by the way I spoke softer and softer.

“No, Zee. We wanted to come to Blue River. This is where my family is, remember?” It was the first time my mother spoke. She still didn’t look at me.

“Doesn’t the she wolf go to her mates pack?” This just didn’t make sense.

“Yes, but I met your mother at River Rock. My mother moved us there, back to her family, when my father died. She was a mess and needed family to look after her children. Your mother and her parents came to visit her grandparents back then and stayed behind when her parents came back. We always wanted to come back to Blue River and the incident just helped us make up our minds.”

“Did anything like this happen here?”

“Well, we tried to keep you from others best we could. I only know of one time.” Dad sounded sad when he said this.

“It was at a pack picnic.” I turned to look at Paul. “You were getting to close to Rose and Dad asked me to do something about it.”

I looked to Dad who sat with his face in his hands.

“I told Anthony about Rose’s feelings and made up lies that you were the one telling him a bunch of lies. Sorry, Anthony.” Anthony’s eyes narrowed. “I had to do something. We knew how you felt about him too and Rose believed you did it to get him for yourself. When she stormed of, your eyes started glowing. I don’t think anyone saw it and luckily you listened when I told you to go.”

“Why don’t I remember any of this?”

“The theory is that you were not ready to handle your special powers,” Josh stated.

“Huh? Special powers?”

“Have you been listening at all? Look at Marco’s hand. The fact that you could hear that Josh was here before we came in?” Dad asked. Everyone looked at me confused, except Josh.

“Zee,” that voice sent shivers down my spine every time I heard it. “Have you been experiencing odd things?”

“You mean things I can remember?”

When he smiled and nodded I felt my tummy make a backflip. I tore my gaze from him and looked at my sneakers.

“I remember a time when Anthony told my brothers to lay off of me. They were having a field day pulling me down.”

“Sorry about that, but we had to keep up the charade.” It was the first time Ryan said something.

“Anthony gave me enough time to get out of the way and then I heard him say that I was not worth it. When I turned around I was far away. Not half way close enough to be able to hear him. And then….”

“What?” Josh seemed to be talking to a child again. I wished that he would not do that.

“I could hear what he was thinking.”

A stunned silence followed and my parents shared a moment looking at each another.