You're a Hot Mess (Peterick)

Chapter Two - And?

Pete's Point of View.

Senior Year.

In our school if you don't get in early, you don't eat. Simple enough. I can't even begin to count how many times I've missed out on dinner. There's over 1,000 pupils and they all go for dinner at the same time. You'd think the head would have worked out some timetable by now.

Patrick and I had to run down to the dining hall and even then it was 30 minutes before we got food. We look around the hall, searching for a sign of our friends. Andy waves a hand over from a table in the distance and we sit amongst him, along with Gabe, Brendon, Joe, Spencer, Jon and the newest addition to our 'pack', Elisa. She transferred over here not so long ago and almost instantly clicked with us. I blame that on Gabe.

There's mindless chatter amongst our table. Most of it just gossip and rumours. I run my eyes over the people before me, each one of them talking quickly, laughing loudly, smiling brightly, most of my best friends at one table. Pretty amazing.

I stop when I reach Patrick. He's smiling the brightest, flicking his hair back and talking about our favourite band, Undecided Dilemma, to Brendon.I've been trying to get us tickets to go when they come here in a few weeks.

Patrick stops talking now but continues to smile. The same sparkle in his eye from when we met in first grade. Beautifully striking blue eyes blinking at me when I asked him if I could sit beside him. He said no one ever really asked that before. From then up until now I've seen Patrick almost everyday. I remember our first day of high school. I tried to put eyeliner on Patrick to match myself so I wouldn't feel so much of an outcast. Even now he still won't wear it. At least that way he doesn't use mine.

I find myself subconsciously staring at Patrick, a small smile on my face and everyone seems to notice before I do. Joe kicks my foot and I snap back into reality, my face flushing almost immediately. "What were you thinking about?" Patrick smiles soothingly, ignoring the hushed whispers and snickers from everyone else.

You. I stammer and try to think of a lie."Nothing really." Spencer and Joe snort. Patrick glares at them and they stop. "Oh." He says a hint of disappointment in his tone. I think it was disappointment, I can never really tell with Patrick. Why would he be disappointed though?

"Pete you're doing it again." He says quietly, a slight blush creeping up on his cheeks. I duck my head and laugh. "Was not." I mutter.

* * * * *

We finish up in the canteen and those of us who weren't gated go downtown to our usual hangout, some bar down the street a bit. Patrick and I don't feel like going back to our room so we head out to the garden ourselves and stare at the stars, lying on our backs.

"Pete, what are you scared of?" I'm about to crack a joke before I look over to Patrick and realise he's serious. I give it some thought and Patrick seems to be getting agitated with anticipation. "I've never really been scared of anything, I don't know."

He hums, like it wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear. "What are you scared of?" I ask quietly, turning on my side to face him. He sighs and shrugs. "A lot of things, you know? Sometimes I just.." Patrick closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then looks me in the eyes. He opens his mouth as if to say something but shuts it.

He blinks a few times, huge, sad eyes painted blue. Outlined by his porcelain white skin and dirty caramel hair. Patrick, to me anyway, resembles a doll ever so slightly. There's something so.. beautiful and perfected about him. It kills me to see him even a tiny bit sad.

Shit, Patrick is really pretty. Like really, really- Oh.. oh God.

"Pete? You alright, you've gone a bit... pale." He reaches out to touch my face and I jerk back. "No- No all good."

"You sure? I'll take you back up if you want? We can watch a movie together. Snuggle up in a blanket-" He chuckles but I stand up before he can finish. "No, no I'm good. I just remembered I've got a... uh.. huge..." Oh what do I say. Don't say boner oh my God. What do I have?!

"Test tomorrow. Yeah. Maths, real hard. Haven't even revised." I lie, "Gotta go! See ya." I shout and run out of the garden, looking back before I leave to see Patrick still lying on the grass with an expression of "What the fuck just happened?"

I run up the stairs, bolting for my room. Brendon gives me an odd look when I sprint past but I'm thankful he didn't ask. Once I get in I slide down against the door and bang my fist against the wall.

"FUCK!" I swear, trying to let out all my frustration. "Okay, I do not find him attractive okay?" I whisper to myself, as if I'm actually trying to tell myself off. "Do I? I.. I don't know." I throw my head back against the door and sigh loudly. "Yes, yes I do."

First stage is acceptance after all.

"Is that a big deal? No. It's not like that hasn't happened- Oh, wait no it hasn't." I try to recall a time it has happened but my mind draws blank. Yeah, that's not really something you forget. "It's not like there aren't attractive guys I know. Like, he's just the first one I've noticed. Yeah, that's it." I nod rapidly in agreement.

Welp, it's official, I'm insane.

"I mean.. Brendon's kinda pretty. Not as pretty as him but still kinda attractive. Then there's.. Joe and Andy are handsome. Ryan! Ryan's pretty. Mikey, Gerard, Fran- Nah, this is getting weird."

I pick myself up off of the floor and drag grudgingly over to my bed, face first in the pillow and I must eventually fall asleep because I wake up again when Patrick comes in at.. two maybe?

"Pete? You awake?" He pokes my back and I groan. "I'll take that as a yes." He scutters around the room, bumping into stuff, presumably getting into his pyjamas (You don't know how much willpower it took not to sneak a glance.) and then getting into bed.

"So'd you get all your 'studying' done then?" Patrick's voice is heavily dripping with sarcasm to a point where I'm annoyed by it. "Yes." I reply shortly.

"What were you actually doing?" I can hear him smiling through the words, even though I haven't looked at him since he came in. "Studying, like I said."

"Right." He pauses, "And?"

"Lying like this."

"And?"

"Sleeping."

"Aaaand?"

"Patrick!" I raise my head to look at him. "Would you just leave me the fuck alone?!" Instantly, Patrick's lip quivers but quickly turns into a bitter scowl. I realise I've never really shouted at him. Patrick and I.. have always kinda been a team. You gotta have friends like that in the world, and I may just have nearly lost one.

"Fine." He snaps and pulls the cover over his head. I have to get up and change into my pyjamas but I don't. I don't apologise, I don't hug him, crawl in with him, whatever we normally do when we fight. I don't do anything but stare face-down into my pillow.

I really screwed up. Not that I actually care.

*Sorry for the length.. you know the way there barely is a chapter. But I kinda need to divide each chapter up into sections if you understand? Plus I was meant to be in bed an hour ago. Now I'm only getting about 6 hours of sleep. Whoops.*