SHATTERED (An Amy Lee FanFiction)

4

"Who the fuck do you think you are?! What are you doing? You love embarrassing me, don't you? That is so fucking disgusting. How did you end up being here with your arms all cut up and bruises? You are a shame, Amy. A SHAME!" Ben shouted then punched the wall so hard. I was clenching my teeth in despair hoping he would eventually stop. My hands were shaking and my chest was hurting, as if my emotional pain was becoming physical. I managed to sit down, breathing heavily.

"What?" he questioned "Now you're all victimizing yourself?"

"No, Ben, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you go so mad and embarrass you. I am so sorry." I said, gasping for air and crying uncontrollably. What did I do with my life? How could I let him destroy me so much that I was in such a bad mental state?

"Amy, sweetheart. No, don't cry. Breathe in and out. Shush." he suddenly said, hugging me. "I pressured you so much, I'm sorry, baby. I love you. The stress is affecting us both, babygirl. I didn't mean to hurt you. " he explained himself.

Lies. Lies. Lies. He always meant to do such things. Stress? What a freaking lie. This is his only excuse. Stress. He does everything out of stress as if I never get stressed? From what I know, you never let your stress and anger out of the people you love, but whatever. I only managed to hug him back and let him kiss me because my chest was hurting so much that I couldn't breathe properly or speak.  As we were hugging, I realized he was using me, but not on purpose. Using as abusing. He needed me so he wouldn't feel empty. He needed me to get his feelings on. He needed me to have sex with. He needed my attention, not my full love. He only wanted me physically, not mentally.

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TWO DAYS LATER

I was lying on the hospital bed, all covered up in blankets because I got really cold during the night. I hadn't seen Ben since the day before yesterday and I felt like I was on cloud nine already. He called me up and we texted and stuff but nothing more. Being away from him was feeling so good. As I saw the doctor entering my room, I got up.

"Good morning, mrs. Lee! Are you doing okay?" she said, smiling at me. She was so kind and understanding.

"Yeah, I'm much better now. Thanks to you and the rest I got here."

"Mrs., was the man who came here two days ago your abuser?" the doctor asked. "He shouted at you saying that it was your fault that you self harmed. I must inform you that it is not. It is not something you do endlessly just to be a shame in front of him. You're doing so because you're hurting. "

"He's my boyfriend, mrs. He was just really worried, that's why he had gone all crazy."

"Well surely he should be the one staying here, not you. You're amazing. Also, you're the girl who sings My Immortal! Eva...?"

"Evanescence. Yeah, I am the vocalist of Evanescence and Ben is the guitarist. We're the founders. Haha."

"Well, Amy. You're good to go home now! Mrs Beth will come and pick you up in no time!"

"Thank God!"

Why was I being happy about it? I was going to see Ben again. Oh God. I felt the anxiety rushing all through me again. No.