You are not alone (Kageyama Tobio x Hinata Shoyo)

You are not Alone {4}

Blurry.

It's so blurry.

My eyes slowly adjust and come to focus with Kageyama's worried face. Cool. WaiT yEr W H A T. PAST ME WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN—I SWEAR—THIS FIRSTHAND EMBARRASSMENT IM FEELING RIGHT NOW I DONT APPRECIATE FOR NOTHIN'

I need to leave. N o w.

I sit up quickly, trying to get up, but the bloody pAIN. I swear this pain is becoming a real pAIN in my bAcKsiDe right now and I'd aPpReciAtE it if it could just sT O P.

Okay so I've managed to sit up...but...I can't move. This ain't too good. Or too dandy. And boi oh boi do need to get out of this nurse bed—

"Hinata, you need to tell me what's going on, the team is suffering because of you. Your hand seems ok now, but why haven't you come to practice?" Kageyama says. But... he says it... softly?? Like he sort of... cares?? And like he's hurt??

Man oh man I couldn't tell you why but all of a sudden hot tears silently start to spill out of my shocked eyes and I'm crying. It's like people were trying to fill up oceans with that much eye liquid coming out of my eyeballs. Okay I feel like I should start taking this more seriosuly... and I am... because right now I feel confused.

I feel confused as shit.

My heart feels heavy an light at the same time, my heads spinning but everything is still. I just—

I love volleyball,

I love Natsu,

I love my parents,

I love winning,

I love the team,

And most of all,

I love this godforsaken mAN sitting in front of me.

Yes, I still like him, and hEY you can't expect a crush ive had since the start of the year to go away just like that!! Yes!! His words hurt!! But also!! He's hot!! And also just to go on a little tangent in my mind here his eyes are literally the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen and his pouting is so adorable and his hands are actually so soft like what the heck and his really rare laugh is like music to my ears and the way he smiles every now and then literally brightens up my day and when he shows a side of himself that he usually doesn't show he gets all flustered and fUCK HES JUST—IM SUCH A  S I M P.

Oh I'm still crying by the way. Yeah, that hasn't stopped. I just needed to let myself and all of you know aGAIN that I am a gay lad.

Kageyama is frantically trying to calm me down, and honestly... I really missed him... I forgot how much I trusted him... how much I still trust him.

Before long, and because I'm an idiot that does everything without thinking anything through for shit, I was telling him everything without processing what I'm saying. I told him about my old bullies that came back, my family, my recent depression, my newly diagnosed ADHD, why I haven't come back to the team, how it's been going with my hand, EVERYTHING. For some reason, I still bloody trust him. Even though Ive pushed him away for so long... and even though he hurt me in so many ways imaginable.

"Hinata."

He picks me up and hugs me. Out of nowhere. He holds me so tight. It hurt but... ima be honest with you I'm ecstatic over this embrace.

I loved breathing his scent of blueberry shampoo and coffee grounds.

I loved absorbing his warmth I've never felt.

Listening to his heartbeat...

"Don't be afraid.

The team is here for you. You can trust us. We will never reject you, we will never isolate you, and we will never let you fight this alone."

Ima be honest right here that's the nicest thing Kags has ever said to me and I'm kinda scared right now. I'm kiDdinG—partially.

I feel his muscular arms around me.

I felt safe in his arms. As sad as it sounds that's the safest I felt in a long time...

"You are not alone." I hear him say

Kageyama's Perspective

Hinata stopped crying. Finally...

Still trying to process everything that Hinata just explained to me, I inhale and exhale deeply, pulling apart form our embrace.

But what he went through must have been terrifying to go through... especially on his own... I feel like shit...

He looked up at me, "thank you. Kageyama."

I panic for a second before I tell my gay to shut the fuck up.

"Your welcome, dumbass."

WHAT NO I DIDNT MEAN TO INSULT YOU!!

I hear him laugh. For the fist time. In 6 months.

"I really appreciate it. Thanks."

I smile. I get up and let him stand up on his own. I can't help but feel guilty... I mean... I wasn't accepting 6 months ago... which was the reason why he left in the first place... I was the reason why he broke his hand at all... yet he's the one thanking me??

Snapping myself from my thoughts, I quickly mutter,

"I guess I'll see you at practice then."

Well gee thanks Tobio you just made this 100 TIMES MORE AWKWARD yOU bLoODy FUCKIN I D I O T.

"Hey, Tobio." I hear Hinata's voice say.

I feel his soft lips on my cheek. Ima admit it took me a couple minutes to process that he kissed me on the cheek, and by that time, he had already said, "See you in practice", and had left the nurse's office. As soon as the few brain cells in my mind realised what had just fucking happened, I swear—

I—

Why am I this gay—

Please someone answer me—