Killing Tink

Ch. 25. (Mature/triggers)

Warning- triggers- Adult content. The sexual assault paragraph is labeled - Skip that paragraph if you have triggers.

John made it into the bathroom and dropped Alice's rag doll like body next to the tub. He hadn't let her out of the room and into his living space since he'd found his family and it felt odd. There was so much clean up that day -- even the memory of it made sweat bead on his palms and forehead.

Pain coursed through him as he turned the water on hot. His beautiful wife.  His daughter - the reason for his existence. The things he was most proud of. He remembered it in detail. The smell as he walked in the door. Alice's smile as she sat at the table with his tie knotted tightly around her hands and the chair.

It was unexpected. Had his wife tied her up? Was she waiting for him? He could see fear in Alice's eyes and he walked closer and put his hand on her head. She flinched, not unexpected. They'd only minimal contact touching during sessions before today's. Slow, causal, deliberate touching to get her used to human contact. He'd done everything possible to keep it clinical. Lights on, descriptions of the movements. Rationale explained each and every time his fingertips brushed her skin.

It was forward thinking that he could keep himself in check, but in the beginning he'd believed it could happen. Even Calina, at his insistence, had sat in on some sessions- curled in the corner looking away as her cheeks blossomed with red. It hadn't been fair of him to ask her, but he thought it would help him stay professional and give Alice some comfort.

How could he have predicted his wife's unease and shame would ignite something in him? Alice was no longer mute during the sessions. She had slowly gotten the ability to tolerate his hand on hers, his fingers on her frail neck, his chest coming close for wrapping her up with a quick hug. It was tremendous progress.

He remembered begging Calina for one more session that day. He was on edge, tired and frustrated. Calina had refused him again in bed. It had been over a year and laying next to her had lost all comfort and instead had become torturous. Every movement of her next to him hurt him physically. The smell of her, the soft sleeping puffs of air as she slept painfully making him want her. He frequently pleasured himself there laying next to her, loudly and with confidence, hoping she'd realize he had needs. But even then it never hit that aching spot within him for contact.

That day he had passed his usual feelings of desperation and felt angry, the intensity of it was new to him, and freighting. He told his wife she had no choice. He raised his voice, unleashed, telling her she was holding his greatest work back, holding Alice back from ever being able to live in a normal world, robbing her of the ability to find love, comfort in touch, having a normal life, children.

It was the children that got her. Her life was wrapped so tightly in Sophia that it consumed her. No dates, no soft cuddles, no sex. Sophia had filled all the cracks and crevices John couldn't in his wife and as much as he loved Sophia, it angered him. He wanted to be all consuming for Calina. Isn't that how it was supposed to be?

That day he found Alice at the table..it ended everything.

Flashes of that day invaded his mind as the steam from the shower warmed the room. Alice looked so relaxed now, not like she had during that session. He shook his head to forget it, but the memories poured in.

Calina sat on the sofa looking toward the beige walls as if they held the answers to the universe. Alice was edgy, and John blamed the waves of shame and anger coming from the corner where his wife sat statuesque, judging.