Killing Tink

Ch. 35

Tink woke up feeling Like her bones had been filled with cement while she slept and her muscles wrapped in newspaper. Everything was heavy and crinkled and off in a way that made her ache to get back to the darkness where none of it mattered.

Her tongue felt thick and prickly and ran its course around her mouth seeking out any bits of leftover moisture before it jetted past her sharp teeth only to skim across chapped rough lips.

She tried to focus and remember the reason her body felt like it had waged war while she slept but her last thoughts were of a hidden sandwich...and John.

John. He was in the room sitting just outside the bars. She didn't need to roll over to know he was there - she could feel him. Just like in the first hospital she knew he'd be waiting, watching. Legs crossed and seemingly calm with a river of hot lava trickling through his core.

She wanted to turn toward the little table and see if there was a glass of water but knowing he was there made her still. For no reason at all she waited until her head cleared and her muscles ached to move.

"Good afternoon, Hope. That was quite a nap. Slept like the dead I'd say. Rested now?"

Hope spun around to face him already having lit the plastered smile on her face. It was obvious he was in a mood. His words were crisp and short and no matter how friendly they sounded she was aware he was angry at something.

"I meant to thank you. I never would have gotten out of there if it weren't for you. You saved my life. I was imagining myself tied up on that table under those lights until I died."

She studied his face and saw the lines change patterns. Like Stash, he was surprised at the turn of the discussion. Somehow it always mirrored Stash. Maybe her whole life would. Every moment of her future mapped out by a memory of things that had already happened. Her hands smoothed her hair as she thought about the sadness of it. Could she be stuck in some reality where she replayed the same scene over and over with new characters until she got it right? She played with the thoughts of it until his voice broke the pattern.

"It was my pleasure. You're safe now. That's all that matters."

Her throat was hot and achy but things were turning. There was a hint in his voice she hadn't heard before.

"I'm more than safe aren't I? I'm with you. Protected, and getting better. Or at least on the way there. I'll never be able to thank you enough."

John uncrossed his legs and swung his knees back and forth knocking one into the other. He seemed joyful and taller. Maybe he wasn't like Stash. Maybe John wasn't motivated by inflicting pain, but praise. Or, maybe he really did want to help and she was so stuck in the past and all that had happened to her she couldn't see good anymore. Was she that broken? And if she was, could she really be repaired at all?

"I... I was wondering if you could send a nurse in. Just to walk me to the bathroom? I know you're busy, but if one of them has time...I'd love to clean up, and maybe put on some actual clothing."

John's hand rose to his face and he swiped across his eyes. The clenching of his teeth was visible from his square jaw and Tink scrambled to recover from whatever she could have said to ruin the moment.

"It's not an emergency. I'm just feeling so gross. You know, from that gross place. I don't want you to have to put up with me. I can wait as long as it takes."

She put her clasped hands in her lap and stared at the floor trying to figure it out. Why wouldn't he want her to deal with nurses? Was he afraid he'd be in trouble for bringing her here?

"I'll take you Hope. In just a few minutes. But it's a very private facility. A group home of sorts and I only bring the clients here who need intensive therapy. You can't talk to anyone else yet, not until our trust has been worked on. Can you do that for me?"

Of course it made sense. He had broken the rules bringing her to a VIP place. She was a nobody. No money, no family, and certainly unable to ever pay anyone back for care. John saw something in her that made him bend the rules. No one had ever done that for her before and she couldn't begin to know how to thank him. She'd work hard. Harder than he asked and someday she'd make sure he was proud of her.

"I guess I have even more to thank you for then. I promise. I won't talk to anyone. Or even look in the other rooms. I'm not even sure why you're doing all this for me. But, thank you."

John opened the gate and walked to her cot where he knelt on one knee and cupped her face with his hand. It was soft and he smelled nice, like cologne and coffee instead of Beer and fast food grease. Her instinct was to pull away but she didn't. She stayed put reminding herself that he wasn't Stash.

"You don't have to thank me Hope. You're worth so much more than you know. You were hurt, and taken advantage of and treated like someone who didn't matter. But you do. And when you believe it, you'll see what I do. None of this was your fault."

She leaned against his hand and smiled. It was her fault. All of it. But hearing that he didn't think so made her feel good.

He slipped the blanket off the bed and folded it placing it around her shoulders. From his back pocket he produced a handkerchief and tied it around her eyes. She stiffened, unsure what was happening but knowing what he said. Trust. It was all about trust.

Her heart pounded as he stood her up and led her outside the cage. When the door opened she was hit with a blast of cold air and a smell
so strong she froze for a moment. It was dank and bitter and something in her feared it.

"I'm right beside you Hope. You are amazing. Not even questioning me with a blindfold. You're exceptional. I knew it from the minute I saw you. Today is the first day of our new relationship, and already I'm giving you what you asked for! Tonight- we can eat together to celebrate. But my star wants a shower, and a shower she gets."

Her bare feet hit soft thick plush carpeting and Hope listened intently for noise from the others. The only sounds she picked up were the brushing of the carpet against John's shoes. I'm just a few steps he turned her by her shoulders and the sound of a wooden door closing made her jump.

His hands left her shoulders and she stood waiting for direction as her ears picked up the clock of a light switch and John's hands began to tug at the blindfold.

When her eyes adjusted to the light she was in a bathroom. Just like the one she remembered at home. It was cold but smelled of soap and cleaning products. There was a tiny window high off the floor and a large white tub with a lavender colored curtain.

As John turned on the water and the stream began to form she looked into the mirror. She shrieked at her reflection throwing her hands up toward her face. She was unrecognizable from the person she remembered. Her eyes were small and sunken and her long greasy hair hung in patches not quite thick enough to cover bits of shining scalp.

John grabbed her from behind and turned her away as she sobbed.

"It's going to be fine Hope. That isn't you. It's a product of neglect and it's all going to go away now. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. Trust me Hope. I'll fix all of it."

Numbness seeped across her skin as John unbuttoned her nightgown and gently pushed her toward the tub turning off the shower jets and filling the bathtub instead. She sat in the hot water shivering from the inside as he scrubbed and soaped her skin mumbling words she could no longer process or understand.

Someone had taken over her body. Someone she didn't know had moved in and she was afraid. If John knew this person, and she was the one he was trying to help what would happen to the real her?

################<#<<<