Hetalia Zodiacs

Precious Canada

Ep 4
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Canada:y name is Canada, I'm six years old and IMMA BEAUTY QUEEN! America drive me 'round to pageants
________________In The Car________
America: I think I might be givin' birth
_______Inside______________________
America: He's my precious Canada
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America: Today Canada's competing to by America's Next Top Slut One Day, in the windmill of a mini golf course in Dicktown New Jersey
___________________Inside__________
America: One and a two and a jump, jump, split *Pushes Canada's shoulders*

Canada: Owww America that hurts my dick
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Canada: America said when I learned how to dance, he's gonna get me a dog!

America: I just said that as a lie, but then I heard something flapping around in the fireplace, and I put a shoebox to it. And boom a fuckin' pet
_____________In the car___________
America: Surprise Canadia *Hand back shoebox*

Canada: Is it a dog

America: No it's a bat

Canada: A bat? But I wanted a dog

America: Well you can name it whatever you want, wanna name it dog go right ahead

Canada: Dog the bat?

America: Dog the bat.

Canada: Imma take him for a walk

America: No!

Canada: *Screaming*

America: BAD DOG, SIT STAY!
________Inside_____________________
America: Now I got this thing where I don't like being in cars with bats, so Canada and me, we got the heck out of there, but then I realized, we got locked out with the keys in the car
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America: Oh eat my asshole
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Canada: So America and I played a game, called "Break The Window"
_________________Outside__________
America: *throws rock but hits Canada* Shit *Throws another rock and makes huge dent on the door* FUCKIN' SHIT *Throws and even bigger rock and makes a bigger dent on the car door* Piece of shit! *Throws another rock* Shit on me! *Hits car with canada's body* Fuck a bag
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Canada: We lost!
________________Outside___________
America: Okay plan B, imma lower you in through the moon top. Mission impossible style, ready? Alright here we go Canada! One, two three *Lifts Canada into the moon roof*

Canada: I got em'

America: Okay come out.

Canada: I'm stuck

America: Fuck another bag
______________Inside_______________
America: So Canada got his flat ass stuck in a moon top. But do Olimpic cripples stop running, no they start wheeling. They start wheeling around
____________Outside_______________
America: And a one and a two and a jump, jump, split

Canada: Owe my dick

America: Hey I didn't even touch you that time!

Norway: *Judges America even more than he already does*
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America: Well Canada didn't place, because Norway says I'm a "monster"
____________In The Car___________
*Dog the bat appears*
America + Canada: Screams

America: CANADA GET YOUR GODDAMNED DOG UNDER CONTROL!