-A/N: listen to sad music to add the sadness effect if you want to (;_;)
--------
-
5 years
-
You really are an asshole, you know? Leaving me behind like that. Why did you do it anyway?! It's not like my life matters here anyway.
Ever since my mom's death, I've felt useless, so... Unnecessary. My dad had turned to alcohol and things hadn't looked so well.
In my teen years, I hung out with the wrong people, got into bad stuff, and much more. I wore a mask of emotions everyday. I always acted tough around the people I hung out with. I would do as they said and that got me into big trouble. I would go home every night and cry my eyes out. You don't even want to know how many times I had considered and attempted to end it all. My whole life was just one big fuck up anyway. What was the point?
Eventually, my dad had gone back to normal. I guess reality just smacked him in the face one day or something. He eventually remarried and tried to start over. I, on the other hand, continued my shitty life style. My dad tried everything. He hired therapists, counselors, anybody. He just want to help his baby girl. I was ignorant at the time. I thought everything he was doing was a waste of time and effort. Everyone in our village looked at me as the criminal of the village.
I was alone. I was so alone.
I didn't even want to talk to my own dad. I felt like there was no one. Until one day, I heard that they were taking in trainees.
I instantly knew it was my chance to avenge my mom and siblings' deaths. They threw out everything they had just to be in the survey corps. I would do the same.
That's when I met you.
At first it was just a petty crush. It was like any ordinary crush, I would blush when you spoke to me or came near me.
There was that one night though. It was very late at night and I had gotten up to sneak some food, I'll admit.
I was quietly making my way to the dinning hall when I was taken aback by the sight of someone sitting at one of the tables.
I quickly hid around the corner. Then I built up the courage to peek out. I then noticed it was you. After a while, my eyes adjusted and I saw that you were slumped over the table, asleep.
I made my way over to you and saw your paper work scattered everywhere carelessly.
I cautiously started to stack the papers when I noticed something.
One of the papers was a little damp.
I instantly thought it was of my doing and began to freak out.
As I was freaking out I happened to glance down at your sleeping face. It looked so... Peaceful. I wanted to capture the moment. I smiled lightly but that smile quickly turned into a worried expression when I noticed tears streaming down your face.
I quickly wiped them away softly with the back of my hand. I was debating on waking you up or not.
I softly brought my hand to your hair and brushed it out of your eyes.
"So the "All Might Corporal" does have emotions, eh?"
I quietly took your jacket from the back of your chair and softly draped it over your shoulders. I hesitated at first, but placed a small kiss on your cheek.
"Goodnight..."
.
-
20 years
-
I have since forgotten your face. I still remember the feeling I had when I was around you though. I wish I could see your face just once more. Just one more time. It's the only thing I want in life, to just see you.
I miss you so much.
I recently visited your memorial, you know? It was very nice. They had the "wings of freedom" carved into stone, along with your name and life span. That sure was long ago huh? It's funny that I still think about you every single day.
Oh I almost forgot!
We defeated the titans.
Everyone was overjoyed, as you can imagine. I was happy too of course, but... I wasn't happy that you weren't there celebrating with me. This was your dream after all. It just didn't feel how it should have. There are amazing things in the outside world! Fields of stuff called "sand", small bodies of water, forests with even bigger-ass trees, ya there's a lot!
There's even something called an "ocean", and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It is sometimes a bright vibrant blue while other times it is a beautiful deep dark blue. I don't remember your face very well, but for some reason, when the ocean is a deep dark blue, it reminds me of you. Your eyes maybe? Well I'm not sure.
I'm a lot happier now! The thought of you used to make me either very sad or very mad. Now whenever I think of you, I am reminded that there was someone there for me. I try not to remember the bad times.
Sure, my life has changed a lot! People come and go. Hanji had passed away a few years ago. She was so happy though! Not that she was dying, but that she could rest in peace, knowing I would be ok. I was happy she could die of old age and not at the hands of those beasts.
After you and hanji had gone, I fought with everything. And look now! We did it! We finally did it! I say 'we' because I know you are both with me. You even told me you would always be there! I think the other survey corps members think I'm a little crazy. I mean, I would too if I were them! I still talk to you everyday as if you're really there. I mean, you said you'd always be there so I might as well talk to you!
Thank you. Thank you for shaping me into the person I am today. If it wasn't for you, all those times, I'd be the one gone and you'd be the crazy one. I don't want you, or anyone, to feel that type of pain. I will keep on living.
Thank you, for showing me...that I was never, and never will be...alone.
I love you.
Love,
_______
-------
A/N: last chapter(Ｔ＿Ｔ)
Please tell me in the comments if you would like another levi x reader (modern AU, highschool, ect.)
I love you guys so much! Thank you for reading<3
-------
