Sincerely, A Middle Finger To The Sky 💋

The Redhead

        I wake up and roll over, knowing that the bed beside me would be empty but hoping this guy was different. As I opened my eyes and looked over all I saw was my sheets. Empty. Again.

    I'm so tired after last night that I didn't even care. I rolled over and went back to sleep for another hour.
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   Sitting up and pulling my long, red hair into a messy ponytail, I looked around the room. I wasn't going to school this Friday because of my eventful night. I'm so tired of no one sticking around until morning.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm glad a few were one night stands, but I thought some would be different. I'm not a slut either, I just enjoy the company, and I have only been with 10 different guys. A couple come back for more every now and again but most don't.

    I got up and got dressed, heading downstairs to eat. I grabbed a bowl, spoon, milk, and Fruity Dino Bites. Sitting on the couch and flipping the TV on.

    My mom hasn't been in the picture for a while and my dad was a trucker so he was always on the road. My house was always quiet unless I had someone over.

    After I ate I got up and cleaned everything. Listening to music and dancing around the kitchen like a fool. I was wearing a pair of pj shorts and an unbuttoned flannel.

   *knock knock knock knock..........*

    "Holy fuck! I'm coming!" I covered myself with the flannel and swung the door open. My mood shifted with excitement. He came back and I smiled like an idiot.

   "Hey..." I said sweetly and flirtatious. "I forgot my wallet." He said without giving a flying fuck. "Oh. I'll go get it for you." I said, obviously pissed off. I slammed the door on his face.

    I ran upstairs and grabbed the wallet from the window seal. I opened it and he had some cash. Two twenties, a fifty, a ten, and six ones. I took the the fifty, ran downstairs and handed the wallet to him.

    He took it and placed it in his back pocket. I smiled innocently at him. He smiled slightly and unknowingly.

   "Thanks! Bye!" I said bitchy and slammed the door shut. He got in his car and drove off. What a dumbass.

I shouldn't care, I know that, but why do I always get played? Every time I think maybe he's going to stay. No one ever does. God I wish someone would, I'm so tired of being alone.

I don't have friends because the whole school thinks I'm a whore, before high school nobody wanted anything to do with me, and the only thing guys want is sex.

Turning music on as loud as I could, I tried to stop thinking about it. Nothing worked as the thoughts continued.

I looked in the mirror and still hated what I see. I'm worthless. That's all I could think about. How I let every man use me, how they lie to me every time, how they pretend to want me for longer than one night, but in the end that's all it is. Always.

I laid on the couch watching Family Guy. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to go to sleep again. It was 2pm and I was tired already.
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I woke up at 3 and borrowed my dad's Jeep. I was driving around and trying to keep myself occupied. I pulled into the mini-mart and parked.

    I grabbed a coke, a bag of jerky, and paid the guy. I sat in my car and munched as I watched Luna. I promise I'm not a creep. She had long blonde hair and a slim figure. She was buying some cigarettes and whiskey.

   As she pushed a fake ID over the counter, Redelle walked in. She looked at Luna and contemplated something. As she left the store Redelle followed her. I watched as they spoke to each other.