Worse than forbidden (Billdip)

Chapter Seven

  "DIPPER!?" The feminine voice belonged to none other than Dipper's fraternal twin, who had grown to be about three inches taller than Dipper. Bill literally dropped Dipper, everyone just staring awkwardly at each other.

  "M-Mabel, this isn't-" Mabel interrupted him, of course. "Isn't what?? Dipper! I support you being gay, but you broke up with Pacifica to be with him!?" She was just completely shocked, she couldn't quite understand that their relationship had flaws. Even at the age of seventeen, Mabel was still as boy crazy as ever, and couldn't fathom the fact that maybe every couple wasn't perfect, happy, or romantic.

  "No, that is not what I mean. I- WHAT?" Dipper started before realising that Bill had vanished almost right after hearing the female twin shout Dipper's name accusingly. "You didn't even talk things out with her! Man, you recovered really fast for someone who carried around a ring!"

  "I DIDN'T WANT TO MARRY HER! YOU WANTED ME TO!" He fired back, his eyes tearing up. He loved Pacifica, sure, but he didn't want to marry her. Or... even date her. He hadn't realized it until just then, but he had actually been looking for a way out of the relationship for a while.

  "I- Dipper-" Mabel was at a loss for words as her brother felt tears burning in the backs of his eyes and fought to keep his lashes dry. "You gave me a ring. You planned where I would propose. You helped me to practice reacting to whatever her reaction would be. You also started planning our wedding, no doubt. But you never asked me what I wanted. I didn't want to marry her. You wanted me to marry her."

  "Listen, Dip-" "Stop talking, it's my turn to talk without you making any accusations. Listen to me. I. Am. Gay. I never had a chance to really realize it until just then, but I am. I don't like Pacifica. I like Bill... That guy you just saw me making out with. I'm sorry, but I don't want this." He went towards the closet by the front door of the apartment. After his hands went into multiple pockets of other coats, he found his hand-me-down trench coat from Ford. Old and raggedy, but it did its job and reminded Dipper of his roots.

  His fingers finally graced the small, black, velvet box in which the engagement ring to be used on Pacifica was held. Without a second thought, Dipper harshly thrusted it towards his sister's chest, causing it to fall to the floor. It didn't open, so Mabel just picked it up and opened her mouth to speak to her twin, only to look up to find that his door was closed.

  He obviously had no interest in talking to his "beloved sibling".

  "Mason..." She breathed, laying her forehead against the polished pine wood door of his apartment. "Please, now is not a good time to be alone. I was you to talk to me, to trust me. I love you, Mason. Please open the door and let me be there for you. I'm really sorry. I wasn't paying attention to your feelings, or what you wanted, I was focused on me. Can we go get a milkshake or something at the diner? Talk about what's going on?" She started tearing up as well. "Please, I love you. Please..."

  Dipper could hear her, but refused to let her in. He could sob on his own, he didn't need someone to watch or join in. He'd lost his girlfriend, which hadn't really made him all that sad, surprisingly. But what did make him sad was that his sister felt so far away from him when she was outside that door.

  But once you open the floodgates, you may not ever be able to close them again.

  He just couldn't bring himself to let his sister in, no matter how much he wanted to talk to her. He was laying face down his couch, not crying, but just leaving his eyes closed so the tears couldn't get out.

  Sure, he was sad about losing Pacifica. But not because he'd lost her. Because he hadn't not been in a relationship since he was fourteen. For just over three years, (they'd had their third anniversary around two months prior) Dipper had been dating the close-minded blonde who was no longer his girlfriend. He didn't quite remember how to live on his own.

  Waking up to an empty side of the bed was a foreign concept to him. And for a while, that was how it would have to be. But even when something feels awful... when you just suck it up and don't pay attention to it, most times it kind of pushes itself to the back of your mind and you learn to live without it. Most times.

//I sincerely apologize for the lateness of this chapter, I suck. I kill people and eat hands, that's... that's two things. Anyways, a slightly longer chapter, around 800 words because I feel very bad. The next chapter should probably be a longer one too, but I am very busy lately and won't have a regular update schedule for a while.