dark paradise ✗ kol mikaelson [DISCONTINUED]

chapter six

I couldn't sleep.

Whatever I did, I couldn't fall asleep. Every time I closed my eyes, pure terror washed over me and I had to force myself to not scream.

I hated it. Hated the fact that I wasn't normal. All I wanted was to be anything other than myself right now.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I knew why I couldn't sleep. It had something to do with the dark basement I had seen before passing out the first time earlier today.

I pictured the man that had carried me out of that place, Kol.

My soulmate.

Whatever I did, I couldn't get him out of my head. I was an obsessed woman. All I wanted was to find him and talk to him. Hold him in my arms.

I let out a frustrated sigh. I shouldn't be this obsessed with someone I couldn't remember ever meeting. Hell, I didn't even know what he sounded like!

The only things I had ever heard him say were my name, and him telling me to stay awake. I didn't want to spend my time obsessing over how he had sounded saying my name. I wanted more. I wanted to have actual conversations with him, find out more about my past.

A feeling, deep in my gut, told me he would be the most honest with me. I just knew that whatever happened, I could always count on him to tell me the truth.

I slapped my hand on my forehead before getting up. I slipped out of the sleeping clothes Alexia had given me and put on the ones Davina let me borrow.

I couldn't stay here for more than one second. I had to go out, do something to pass the time.

Why not look for the man I had been thinking about for the past five hours?

Technically, I wasn't breaking any promises I had made. They wanted me to wait for the next day to arrive. Since it was way past twelve am, it was the next day.

Slipping out of the guest bedroom they had forced me into, I tiptoed down the stairs. I knew the vampires had supernatural hearing, but I didn't care about them knowing I was going out. It was Rebekah and Alexia I was worried about. No matter what, I just knew they would never let me out of the house. I practically ran the first three blocks away from the estate once I was out.

Sighing, I took in the feeling of fresh, night air. The cold nipped at my skin, but I didn't care. It was so much better than the overwhelming warmness inside.

Looking up at the moon, I let out another sigh. When would this feeling of emptiness go away? I've only been back for two days, but so far, I've been so damn tired.

It was a never-ending cycle of finding out stuff about my past that I really wanted to know, but not at the same time. I felt so hopeless, so dependent on others to be okay.

I hated that feeling, I decided. I would take matters into my own hands and do everything as I pleased. Crossing my arms, I determinedly crossed the street. This was my damn life. I'd do whatever the hell I wanted from now on, never once stopping to make sure people were happy with me.

<><><><><><><>

He didn't know what had washed over him when he ran out.

The feeling he got when he saw Rosemary again... He never wanted to feel that hopelessness and sadness ever again.

He knew it was wrong, he knew that he should seek her out and hug her, tell her that everything was going to be okay now. That they were going to be together forever now. He would ask her to turn him so that they can spend eternity together.

But he didn't want to.

He knew that it was dangerous, the love he held for her. Being without her made him want to die. He couldn't put himself through losing her again.

He just couldn't.

He also knew that he should have turned around the second he saw her fiery hair flowing behind her as she crossed the street, looking around to make sure no car would hit her. But he didn't. Instead, he followed her. Block after block. How she didn't realize it, he didn't know. His Rosemary was sharper than that. She would know someone was following her the second that someone had set their eyes on her.

He wanted to hold her, he realized the longer he followed her. She looked so lost, so scared. He wanted to hold her and tell her that it was all going to be okay. That she was safe with him.

But she wasn't, was she?

She had died because of him. He had been the one to propose killing one of the Bennett witches to break their link from his mother. It was all his fault, and there wouldn't go one day where he didn't remind himself of that fact.

Even when he was in bed with other women, trying to satisfy the hunger for something inside of him. Even when he was shamelessly flirting with Davina, or when he used magic.

Summoning the magic inside him, Kol chanted lowly under his breath. He sent a gust of wind towards Rosemary, carrying the feelings he felt for her and the words that would remain unspoken forever with it.

He saw her shivering, and then looking around on the empty street, eyes wide with both fear and curiosity.

That's my Rosie, Kol thought fondly. Always curious, even if she knew she should be scared.

There was so much Kol wanted to do. His heart was telling him to go, to talk to Rose. To get to know her again and fall in love with her all over again. Even if she wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him, he would be fine with just being friends. As long as he got to be close to her. As long as he got to be some part, however insignificant, in her life.

She had shown him the beauty in life. She taught him how to look at simple things, such as flowers, and see how beautiful they actually were. How everything was connected, how everything had a part to play in the universe. Rose taught him to love life. To appreciate every little moment and live.

The other part of him, the logical one, was telling him to run to the other side of the planet and not come back. To live a new life, to try and love life again. That it was stupid to even dream of being held by her again, to breathe in the familiar scent of flowers and life.

But as long as Rosemary Queen would look at him as if he was a stranger, Kol Mikaelson could never bring himself to be with her, lover or friend or enemy.

So he stayed in the shadows and watched her, making sure no harm would come to his firecracker.

<><><><><><><><><><>

if you want to slap me, the author, clap your hands!
if you want rose and kol to get back together, clap your hands!
if you want the next update now and you can't wait to see what kind of fuckery i came up with, clap your hands!

lmao in all seriousness, tell me what you thought about this chapter! what do you want to see next? spill all the tea, darlings