blankets [j.jk]

thank you, and i'm sorry.

dear reader of blankets,

this letter is dedicated to you. i am so very thankful for your support, whether you are a fairly new reader or one that's been with this book since the beginning (late 2015. yes, that's right, it' been over 2 years since i started this project). i am so very, very, grateful and appreciative of you. the last two years have been a rollercoaster in the dark, taking turns i couldn't have expected and throwing me into the unknown. but i suppose that's what life is like.

i assume most of you have noticed that i rarely, if i ever do, update blankets. this is because of a few reasons: first of all, i genuinely do not have much time. it's been a very hectic and busy period and that won't change anytime soon. second of all, the past year has been extremely difficult. after my second to last update in august (chapter s i x) it took me nine months to update chapter s e v e n in may. you also may have noticed that chapter s e v e n was extremely all over the place and perhaps didn't seem to fit the story entirely. this is because i wrote that chapter not because i wanted to write it, but because i felt like i had to. i felt so guilty because i hadn't written in nine months that i felt like i had to write something even though i severly lacked motivation and inspiration.

this also brings me to the third reason: not many people know this, but i despise blankets with my whole being. i absolutely hate it and i hate writing it. i hate the storyline, i hate how cliche it is and secretly hate nari and i hate her because of the pettiest reason. nari is someone i want to be, but never will be. she's an amazingly strong woman with a beautiful and peaceful mind and a lovely character and the only flaw she has in my eyes, is that she has no flaws. yes, she is not the most conventionally beautiful girl there is, but she's wonderful and unique and beautiful in her own right and she's a fairy queen and all things good. i loved nari so much and i wanted to be her so bad that it turned into resentment. i know i will never be her and i know i am my own person, beautiful in my own right, but that doesn't make it hurt less.

i am not writing blankets for myself anymore. i am writing it for you, and that's not good. i've long lost my joy for writing fanfiction and i do not wish to continue and that's also why i'm discontinuing blankets. i am so very sorry, i genuinely wish i could've finished it and it makes me sad that i lost all love for my own work, but i hope you understand. i hope you understand that blankets does not make me happy anymore and that i have to be selfish and stop writing it. i feel terribly guilty, and i know i don't have to be, but i'm so, so very sorry to disappoint you.

once again, i truly appreciate you and i'm eternally grateful for you. i love you.

love,
lotte.