Kristin: Sometimes it takes more than an apology

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"He did what?" I asked Dee. It wasn't the news I was expecting to hear first thing in the morning.
Cassie, Dee and I were standing by Dee's green Volkswagen Beetle procrastinating in the car park.
"Derek punched Cory. He didn't tell you?" Dee looked surprised.
"No. I didn't see him all weekend," Which totally sucked, our first official weekend of being a couple and we didn't see each other at all.
That still sounded weird to hear.
"Tell her the rest," Cassie urged Dee.
"The rest?" I felt a little bit of panic rise in my chest.
Please don't tell me Cory is in the hospital paralysed or something. I silently begged.
"Cory was drunk and on Derek's property lighting cherry bombs. Derek warned them a few times to leave but instead of leaving Cory tried to punch Derek," Dee finished.
Part of me wasn't surprised. I had practically cut out Cory's heart and handed them to him in front of more than half the school.
"It's my fault," I sighed as we started to walk across the grass towards the lockers. I shouldn't have started anything with Cory.
Why was I such an idiot?
"You didn't tell Cory to act like that," Cassie reminded me.
But I did humiliate Cory and make him look like a complete fool.
"I know but I shouldn't have agreed to the date in the first place not when I already had feelings for Derek," Impulsiveness and recklessness were also fatal character flaws of mine. It seemed like a never ending list.
"We make mistakes and we learn from them, and now you know better," Dee playfully shoved me.
"Why are guys such big idiots?" I asked.
"Don't get me started," Cassie chuckled as we entered the hallway.
I could hear them all gossiping about me as I got closer to my locker. They didn't even try to keep their voices down as I passed them in the hallway.
"They fought over the slut that gave all the guys from the basketball team hand jobs," One girl said to another and I just rolled my eyes.
They were pathetic. Did they really have nothing better to do with their lives?
"Just ignore them," Dee spoke as we stopped by her locker first.
"Oh don't worry I will," I shot them dirty looks and they looked away embarrassed.
That's right look away you stupid pansies. I smirked to myself although it disappeared as soon as I saw Corey who started to walk away from his locker as soon as he spotted me, although before he could escape I saw the slight bruising for a fraction of a second. Derek had got him good.
I had given Cory lots of space but I needed to apologise and I needed to try and fix things between us.
"I'll be back in a minute," I told Dee and Cassie before I started walking after Cory and followed him as he continued to walk down the hallway, out the doors and past the buildings. He knew I was following him. I could tell by the small awkward glances he kept taking over his shoulder.
"Cory please wait," I ran up to him and demanded his attention as he reached the empty bleachers and to my surprise he stopped and faced me.
"What Kristin? Did you want a close up view of your boyfriend's handy work? Well there you go, you can leave me alone now."
"Cory I'm sorry," I apologised although it didn't make me feel any better not even a fraction.
"You're sorry well I guess that makes everything better now," Cory sneered.
You sure know how to screw with people! My inner voice took a stab at me next but I ignored it and focused on Cory.
"No it doesn't. I know that I just, I want you to know I didn't mean to hurt you," It wasn't my smartest move but honestly I didn't know what I was doing and I wasn't expecting to like two guys at the same time.
"Whatever," Cory rolled his eyes and went to walk away but stopped and faced me again, "Was it fun dating two guys at once?" He asked.
"I wasn't dating Derek and technically we weren't dating either," I felt like and a bitch and wanted to take it back immediately but it was too late.
"So even though you were hooking up with Derek you still agreed to go on a date with me?" Cory screwed up his face as his nostrils flared.
"I wasn't having sex with Derek," I left out the part that Derek and I had kissed. It would've just made the situation worse although I didn't see how it could get any worse.
Crap knock on wood!
"I don't get it. Were you trying to make Derek jealous?" The rage on Cory's facial features was starting to soften and was replaced with sorrow.
"I didn't use you Cory," It was like he wasn't listening to me at all.
"Why string me along?" Cory's eyes were locked on mine as he demanded an answer.
I couldn't believe Cory thought so little of me. I knew he was angry and I would have been to if the situation was reversed but I didn't expect him to be so spiteful. I wasn't playing him or stringing him along.
Or was I?
Are you serious? Have you forgotten what you did to him? I ignored it/me again and kept my focus on Cory.
"I liked you Cory. I wasn't using you," It wasn't a lie. I really did like Cory but I liked Derek more. I couldn't explain it but being with Derek felt right as if we belonged together, although it was no excuse for what I did.
"But you like Derek more right?" Cory shook his head. I knew he didn't understand what I saw in Derek or why I liked him.
I took a deep breath, "Yeah." I wasn't going to lie. I didn't want Cory hating me. I wanted to be friends again eventually.
"Why did you choose him?"
"The heart wants what the heart wants," I didn't know what else to say. It was the only thing I could think of that didn't sound harsh or mean.
"So is this the part where I'm meant to tell you everything between us is okay?" Cory scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Only if you mean it," I replied knowing to well that Cory wasn't going to forgive me anytime soon.
"Well it would be a lie. I really liked you Kristin and I thought you really liked me too," Cory looked crushed, like some of his life force had been sucked away and the guilt grew even heavier.
"Are you saying you're never going to forgive me?" I heard the pain in my voice as I spoke, and by Cory's reaction I assumed he'd heard it to.
"I'm saying it's going to take me a long time not to get sick every time I see you with Derek."
"Does that mean you are going to try to forgive me?" A small amount of hope rose in my voice.
There was a long awkward silence and the hope started to fade.
"It's going to be a long while, but maybe eventually," Cory finally spoke and I felt like a tonne of bricks had been lifted off of me. It wasn't a sure yes but at least he didn't say never, there was hope.
"Well that's all I can ask for," I smiled. All I had to do was keep working my charm and me and Cory would be friends again in no time.
My day had just gotten better. Cory who hated had agreed to forgive me with time, well a lot of time but I still felt accomplished. I knew Derek and I couldn't hang out with the rest of my friends but I also knew I would learn to juggle my time between them.
"You deserve better though," Cory spoke shyly.
"This isn't his fault it's mine. Derek's not a bad person," I assured Cory. The mess I had created wasn't his fault it was all me. I was the one who encouraged Cory although that didn't seem to matter to him.
"Is there a problem here?" I heard Derek ask as he approached and I decided I was going to get a bell for around his neck he was far to stealthy.
It was getting irritating. 

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