Book 1: My Teen Romance with Derek Hale (Teen Wolf Fan Fic)

Kristin: Heartbreaker

After the ambulance was called and I had made sure that Cory was still alive, I got in my car and left to find Derek. I hated what I was about to do, but I had to do it even though the thought alone made my entire body ache and my heart break into a million pieces.
Don’t do it, don’t run from your feelings. My inner voice tried to talk sense into me but I ignored it. I had already made my decision. I was going to be pathetic and run, crushing Derek’s heart in the process all because I was a pathetic coward.
After I ditched my car and started on foot through the woods I started to plan what I was going to say, although since I had never broken up with somebody I cared about before I had no idea how to go about it. I didn’t want to use cliché words, phrases or sayings. Like ‘it’s not you it’s me’ which was actually the case but I still didn’t want to use the stupid line on Derek, he deserved so much more, more than I was offering him.
For the next ten minutes I was devoured by my thoughts as I slowly took my time through the woods. I had to figure out how to tell Derek it was over, but nothing I came up with was good enough. It was all terrible I was terrible and what I was about to do was terrible.
There’s a reason you can’t figure out what to say. My annoying voice of reason spoke again.
I walked through the trees and sure enough Derek was by the river with Laura who looked my way and said something to Derek before she walked away,. I felt my heart skip a few beats as I started to walk towards him. What was I meant to say? How would I look into those amazing green eyes and tell him that it was over when I was having trouble dealing with the news myself.
His eyes were filled with sorrow and I knew it was my fault, it was my entire fault I was the worst person in the world.
So stop! Don’t break up with him, tell him how you feel. My inner voice demanded but I couldn’t, it wasn’t normal to love someone that much was it? No I couldn’t do it I just couldn’t.
“I already know what you are going to say,” Derek spoke grimly.
“I. . . I’m sorry,” I fought back the tears and it was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.
“Why?” Derek demanded.
It’s not to late you don’t have to end it, who says it’s not normal to love someone that much anyway? My inner voice kept trying to talk some sense into me although my stubbornness refused to listen.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I tried to sound confident with my decision although I could hear the sadness in my voice as it stammered with each word.
“That’s all you’re going to give me? I don’t even get a proper explanation?” Derek crossed his arms and I could tell he was trying to look strong, but I could see straight through his act although I wished I couldn’t see the pain I was causing him.
“Derek you nearly killed Cory there’s still dry blood on your hands,” I don’t know why I pointed to his bloody hands, it’s not like he didn’t know where his hands were, but I felt like if I told him the real reason than he would hate me more. I mean who breaks up with somebody because they love them too much? It sounded ridiculous I knew that but I couldn’t stop myself.
“Oh please you had already decided days ago, but why?” I watched helplessly as a tear escaped and fell down his face and I felt the guilt slap me right across the face. My eyes started to water from the impact although I deserved worse, a lot worse.
“I’m sorry I don’t know what else to say,” I apologised.
“Just leave,” Derek turned his back on me and I felt the water spill over my lower eyelids. I couldn’t fight back the tears any longer.
“I really am sorry Derek,” I choked out before I ran in the opposite direction. My vision was blurred and I could barely see two steps in front of me, but I continued to run until I tripped and fell. I felt a small tear like one of my stitches in my thigh had torn open, but it didn’t matter. I got back up and ran to my car as the sobs started to take over my body.
My body shook as the tears continued to stream down my face and I started the car and took off tearing out of there and down the main road. It was a miracle I didn’t get pulled over and given a speeding fine.
Home was the only place I had to go and I hoped that my mother and Grams weren’t home. I didn’t want them seeing me looking so sad and pathetic besides I had no right to cry. I was the one that broke up with Derek.
After getting out of the car I grabbed my keys, unlocked the door and slammed it behind me before I ran upstairs into my room. “Kristin is that you?” I heard my mother call but I didn’t reply, instead I closed my door and dived onto my bed as tears continued to fall down my face.
“Kristin honey what is it?” My mother asked as she entered my room.
“Nothing,” I managed to choke out in between my cries.
“Did Derek break up with you?” She asked as she sat on the edge of my bed.
“No I broke up with him,” I cried although because of the crying it sounded weird almost as if I was speaking in a different language, yet she somehow deciphered my code.
“I’m so sorry honey but why did you break up with him?”
I still didn’t understand how she understood what I had just said. I barely understood it.
“Because-” I cried harder. Usually I would have told myself to stop crying like a little girl but I knew it wouldn’t have helped not even in the slightest.
“Because?” My mother asked as she ran a hand through my dark curly hair, her attempt at trying to comfort me.
“Because when I thought he was dead I felt myself dying, and that’s not healthy or normal,” I managed to choke out and it actually sounded close to English, I was even able to understand myself that time.
“Kristin that’s normal okay, and I mean who cares even if it isn’t normal it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, you’re making it a bad thing.”
“Well clearly you didn’t love dad that much you’re fine,” The sobs had stopped shaking my body so dramatically but the tears were still there streaming down my face, and I had to reach out and grab the box of tissues that were sitting on my wooden bed side table.
“I loved your father a lot Kristin. I still do but sometimes you have to make hard choices, and that’s what I did. I gave your father an ultimatum but he is a very stubborn man.”
“Yeah I know speaking of, where are dad and Alex?” I asked. They had stayed with us for the past week.
“I don’t know and I don’t want to know. Just think about it okay clearly you love him and who cares how much you love him. It doesn’t make it wrong. Haven’t you heard of people dying of broken hearts? It’s not as abnormal as your making it sound.” My mother kissed the back of my head. My face was still covered in my pillows which were half soaked with my tears.
“I think I need stitched up again,” I forced myself to sit up. I hadn’t looked at the damage yet. I wriggled out of my pants and sure enough the few stitches that I had gotten on my right thigh were torn open.
“Get your pants back on I’m taking you to the hospital,” My mother spoke and left me to put my pants back on. Part of me didn’t want to go to the hospital, instead I wanted my mother to stitch it back up at home without any pain medication. I deserved to suffer although I knew she wouldn’t no matter how much I begged and pleaded.
I instantly clutched the sea horse pendant which was still hanging around my neck, and I was reminded of the day he had given it to me. It was the day we made love over and over again. It was the happiest day of my life and it was never going to happen again, and the thought made the tears start up again. It serves you right.

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