Run By Anxiety

Alrighty Then

Alex

I then looked down and realized my one shoe was untied. Oh no. My OCD just couldn't forget about it easily. I knelt down and went to reach for my laces, when Maddie let out a squeal.

I jerked my head up, worried that something was wrong. "What? What is it?" I asked, concerned. She didn't say anything, she just started nodding her head. "Yes." She breathed. My eyes went wide. "No! That's not...oh..." The realization hit me. She thought I was proposing.

"What?" She asked, confused. "I was just tying my shoe..." I mumbled. "I was actually just going to ask what your thoughts were on breaking up." I awkwardly finished.

Her eyes filled with tears and I immediately knew her answer. This was an awful idea. Why did I think this would work? I just didn't exactly feel the same about her anymore, and didn't want to lead her on anymore.

"I'm sorry..." I started to say, reaching to touch her arm. She actually shielded her face like she thought I was going to hit her. And that broke my heart.

"Maddie, I'm not going to hurt you." My forehead creased in worry. "But you just did." She glared at me coldly. I kind of new she would be mad, but I still felt guilty.

Maddie

I couldn't believe he did this, and in front of my best friend. Or in public at all. "Maddie, I said I'm sorry." He gave me a pitying face. He knows I do not like to be pitied. "No Alex. No more apologies. Go. Get out and never show your face to me again." I shook me head coolly.

He sighed, but didn't try to argue. He turned around and walked out the door. "Way to go Maddie!" Becca's eyes went wide as she high-fived me. I bit my lip feeling rather guilty, but my heart would break if I ever had to look into his eyes again.

I asked for a five minute break, and took that time to update all my social media to single, and change my profile pictures to me and Becca instead of me and him I deleted all our texts, our pictures together, and his number (even though I had it memorized). There. Alex was now erased from everything (except my memory). I was proud of myself.

Tonight I would go home and eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's. Sometimes I just need to drown in my sorrows and stuff my face with junk.