Ceaseless Fire

Chapter 48

Chapter 48
Signal

"Drew..." I called him and I saw that he slightly hesitated looking at me, but he still did because I wanted him to. "Anong... Anong nangyari? May hindi ba ako alam?"

Pumikit naman siya ng mariin at tila para bang nahihirapan na sagutin ang aking tanong. Sa hitsura niya ay mukha ngang wala pa siyang balak sabihin sa akin.

"So, she doesn't know anything, huh?" His mom talked again, that was why I looked at her for an answer.

"Mommy, please, don't..." Drew almost begged his mom.

"Nang dahil sa'yo..." Nanginginig ang boses ni Tita Adrianna. "Nang dahil sa'yo, muntik ng mamatay ang anak ko! Nang dahil sa'yo, naaksidente siya noon! I almost lost my son because of you! It was all because of you!"

I almost fell on the tiled floor, hearing those words from his mom, but Drew immediately caught me to prevent me from falling and getting hurt.

But believe me, I just wanted myself to get hurt at this moment just to ease the guilt that I was feeling, even though I still have no idea what truly happened. I just knew that it was my fault based on his mom's words and hatred against me.

"Drew, take her home. Ako na ang bahala sa Mommy mo..." sabi ni Tito Leoncio at hinila na paakyat ang asawa na walang tigil sa kakasisi sa akin.

Drew placed the box of cake on their coffee table without letting go of his hold on me.

"Let's go..." he said and took me outside of their house to drive me back home.

Tahimik lamang ako habang paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang boses ng kanyang ina na tanging ako ang sinisisi sa kung ano mang nangyari kay Drew noon. Wala akong kaalam-alam sa nangyari. Wala namang sinasabi sa akin si Drew patungkol doon. Naguguluhan ako. Gusto kong malaman ang buong detalye!

Pakiramdam ko'y sasabog ang isipan ko kakaisip at kakahula.

I was pulled out from my thoughts when the car halted, and saw that we're already at home.

"I'm sorry if you didn't get the chance to eat dinner. Do you want me to buy you something to eat? Pumasok ka muna sa inyo. Ibibili kita ng makakain at ihahatid ko rito," sabi ni Drew at alam kong nilalayo niya ako sa gusto kong mapag-usapan naming dalawa.

I don't know why he's still hiding it from me when I already know about it.

"I wanna know what happened, Drew..." I told him while staring straight at him.

Ngayon ay siya naman ang hindi makatingin ng diretso sa akin. Kahit sulyap ay hindi niya magawa, habang ang buong atensyon ko ay nasa kanya lamang.

"Naiyah, you don't have to know about it. It's already done. It's all in the past," he tried to reason out.

"Drew, I won't take that as an excuse," I said. "I wanna know what happened to you. Gusto kong malaman dahil pakiramdam ko sasabog ang utak ko sa kakaisip. Pakiramdam ko may nagawa akong mali. Parang sobrang laki ng kasalanan ko at hindi ko alam kung paano ko maitatama. I don't want your mother mad at me. I've had enough of that."

Nagsimula nang mag-init ang gilid ng aking mga mata dahil sa pamumuo ng luha.

"I don't want you to blame yourself, Naiyah..." he told me as he shook his head. "I don't want you to feel like it's your fault. I'm fine now... That's all that matters."

Umiling naman ako at hinawakan ang kanyang kamay upang makiusap na sabihin sa akin ang katotohanan.

"Paano naman ako, Drew?" tanong ko at garalgal na ang aking boses. "I don't think I'll be fine. Araw-araw kong tatanungin sa sarili ko kung ano ba ang nagawa ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong ihingi ng tawad sa'yo at sa mga magulang mo. Ayoko ng ganoon, Drew... So please... please, tell me."